The Pizza Monster

Everyone remembers the Cookie Monster on Sesame Street. That blue fur-ball with the big wobbly eyes that would devour a whole plate of cookies faster than Kim Kardashian can pose for a butt photo. The object of many parent's blame for their child's obesity problems, because it was not the fact that you gave your child the cookies, it was the cookie monster convincing your child to eat them. That makes sense...

Well, I have considered myself the Pizza Monster at specific moments on my life. This summer, good friends of mine had a 10 year anniversary party in which they hired Veraci Pizza to bring their Brick Oven Wagon and cook pizza for the 30 or so guests. If you have not tried Veraci Pizza, you must. It is on 55th in Ballard and is the best thin crust, brick oven pizza I have ever eaten. So it was no surprise to myself that I was the Pizza Monster at this party.

Of course, the first time to the pizza table it is not that crazy for a person to take four slices of pizza with their salad, bread and wine. Right? Umm...right? Oh shut up! I'm fat. If I had stopped there, I wouldn't be the Pizza Monster, so I continued. And since I am not a muppet on a children's show, I needed to be more stealthy in my devouring of the pizza. Once I went back up and nonchalantly looked around, and acted surprised, "Oh they made one with black olives. I gotta try that one." I took three and scampered back to my seat in the yard. A little while later I walked inside the house to "use the restroom" but I used that as a excuse to grab to two slices on the way inside (hoping that no one noticed), and then eat them alone. Because in my mind, if no one saw you eating it, then it didn't happen. On the way out of the house, I grabbed one slice, but since I did not have a plate in my hand, it was a snack and not part of the meal. I am insane right? Then a little later, I went back up and grabbed a few slices and walked them down to a friend in the yard and said, "They brought out the kind you were asking about so I grabbed you some." And I already knew what his answer was going to be, "Oh thanks, but I already had some of that kind and now I am full." Well, I can't let them go to waste. I will eat them...

Welcome to the mind of a food addict.

Once all the pizza had been consumed, my total can only be described by a compound inequality. 11 < x < 16
Let me translate, the amount of pizza I ate (x), was greater than 11 slices of pizza, and less than 16 slices of pizza. I ate so much I couldn't even keep track. The truly sad thing is, I was bummed out when by buddy gave the left overs to someone else, because I probably would have eaten a couple slices as I drove home.

What does this have to do with my current progress? You would think, "You better not eat pizza, because you'll end up eating too much." And I would agree with you, but I also know myself. This life change will not work if I remove all the food I love to eat. I need to make a change, but I will not go to the extremes.

The other night while shopping at Top Foods, I came across a rather large, whole wheat, flat-bread pizza crust. I looked at the nutrition label and it appeared to be pretty decent. Good amount of fiber, no bleached sugars or fructose and the calories were not out of control like the white pizza crust next to this one. I placed two in my cart. I continued to shop for pizza toppings that were not out of control with fat or sugar. I bought tomato paste for the base, not marinara. I bought two types of low-fat cheese, and a red bell pepper. I also cut up some roasted turkey lunch meat from Costco.

While my new pizza creation was cooking, I was writing down the nutritional information for each item, and started loading them into myfitnesspal. I was not finished loading everything in when the pizza was done cooking, so I took a break to eat. I was a little distracted and distressed over putting my dog down just hours before this, so I did not care about my calorie in take for a bit, and I ended up eating half of the pizza. Realizing I ate half of what would be considered a large pizza, I felt I had let myself down, but then I finished entering in the nutritional information. I was surprised at the results. Half of the pizza totaled under 600 calories. Well, I know what I will be eating at least once a week.

I guess the Pizza Monster can live on! (In a healthier way)