Single Malt Irish

A person does not get to be 34 years old and single without friends and family questioning, if only in their minds, the reasons for which one is single.  Especially a person whose longest relationship has been 8 weeks.  Is he a commitment-phobe?  Is he self-sabotaging possible relationships? Could it be both?  Does he just have no "game"? Is he damaged goods?  I am sure the question, "Is he gay?" has been uttered a time or two.

Dating today seems too casual in my opinion.  Maybe it was my addiction to TV and movies growing up, but I feel like even a first date should be with someone with whom you are excited about spending time. The build up to asking someone out should have the suspense of the final vault by the gymnast in second place in the All-Around competition. (Sorry. The Olympics are everywhere right now.)  The palms should be sweaty.  The butterflies in the belly. Blood rushing,...somewhere that makes you a little light-headed. That's where the excitement is first generated in a relationship.

Today, people browse profiles, get set-up by family and friends or start dating after a drunk hook-up. Each of these methods are fine and work for some, but not for me.  Browsing profiles takes the thrill out for me, and when someone does not even reply to a 'wink' or email, that is worse than someone saying no in person. It is efficient though. You can look through a lot of not-so-great, in order to get to great. But I still think of online profiles as a Toyota Camry. Reliable but not inspiring.

Getting set-up by friends and family has the opposite effect for me.  Dating should have a little stress, and nervousness. That is good. That is kinda fun, but knowing that there are people sitting at home, who set you up, watching the clock, wondering how it's going and talking about our potential relationship just freaks me out. It takes the fun away, and makes me feel like I will be letting not only myself and my date down if I do or say the wrong thing, but also the people at home living vicariously through the set-up.

And drunk hook-ups, come on. If you know me, this is not how I roll. 

So maybe I am a commitment-phobe. Maybe I am damaged goods. But I believe the excitement and thrill is out there for me. So until then, I will be might sweet self.  Living Single Malt Irish!