Not Quite Shame, But Close

Responding to my subtle calls for help, friends now sit and wait for me to reply to their gentle words of care and concern.  Waiting for a hint that I am still in this life-change process.  Some praying for my strength and focus to return to its previous form.  To those friends, an answer is in the works, and I owe you for forcing me to search.  I owe you for being there, without being "Up In There."

Myfitnesspal, the web-based system with a phone app that I have used to track my food, has been missing me apparently.  Some friends have noticed that I have not logged on much lately and sent me gentle reminders.  My favorite was a message that just read, "If you bite it, write it."  Followed soon after with a, "Go Dawgs!"

A few friends that have been checking my blog have sent text messages that have asked if I have found my "weigh" and wondered if I needed help finding it because they have search lights and know a guy with a hound dog.  Another friend blamed me for his lack of sleep because according to him, he is staying up late listening for the glass ceiling to break.

Still a few more have reached out further and sent me encouraging FB messages, and asked about talking soon, or meeting.  I fight off the lump in my throat and watery eyes each time I read them.

Yet, I have not replied.  I have realized, while searching for my reply, that I have not lost my way entirely.  I have created some healthy habits and changed my life-style enough that I will not go back to the way I was before.  I don't even look at certain foods anymore.  I walk to talk to people at work instead of emailing or calling. It's more fun to see them, and I get more steps in my day.  My fruits and veggies are still way up from before and my meats and oils are still down.  I have not put back on a ton of weight, just 10 pounds.

I was reaching a low mentally. Not quite shame, which comes with some ugly eating, but it was close.  Those people that have reached out, kept me from that tipping point.  Thank you!

Time to pay you back with some healthy living!