Everything happens for a reason.
Have you heard that before? Did you believe it? Do you tell yourself that when things don't happen the way you want? Or do you tell yourself that when things do go the way you want? Did you agree with the people from whom you heard it? Or did you mock it as a trite phrase to make people feel better about the crap in their life?
In my life, I have gone back and forth on this one. At certain times in my life, I have whole heartedly believed that everything happens for a reason. While at other times, I have ridiculed the idea. Looking back at a few events in my life now, I must say that I believe that everything happens for a reason. I am here, with my life experiences under my belt, and each one happened for a reason. They have formed me, and those around me.
I threw away my first recruiting letter from Linfield College. I thought I was too good for them, and I should be at a bigger school, but then their coach came to my school and convinced me to make a trip. I cancelled all of my other scheduled trips after visiting Linfield, and I believe that I was supposed to be a Wildcat. I met some of the best people I know while going to school there and received an individualized education. I could not imagine attending any other college.
Six years ago I chose to sell my condo in Bothell and move to Oregon. And although I lost my shirt(and pants for that matter) on the condo I bought in Beaverton, I feel like I was supposed to be at Stoller Middle School that year. I feel that there were a few kids in that class that I was meant to teach. I made connections with those kids and changed their views on math and education in general. Additionally, I was meant to spend a great deal of time with my friends as they entered their initial parental years. I was meant to be there to help and support them, but I was also supposed to see them grow as people and parents. This changed my perspectives on many things and has formed me as a person.
There is a reason I am back at Leota Junior High. There is a reason I sought treatment for my depression. There is a reason I made life changes to be more healthy. There is a reason I am writing this, and there is a reason you are reading it. Accept it, believe it and react to it positively.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Reason to Relay
You have all heard me speak about my reason to Relay, or you read about it on my blog last Spring. A student at my school participated in her first Relay For Life last year, and this year she will be speaking at our school's first Relay meeting. She asked me to read her draft and provide her feedback. I am sharing her words, with her permission.
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Hi.
I am not much for public
speaking so just avoid eye contact and it will all be just fine. ;)
My name is Allison. I am in
8th grade. I am 13 years old, and have two brothers, 2 chickens, a dog, 1 fish,
and I had cancer. Ugg... I hate that word, cancer. I participated in Relay For Life last year
and it was an experience I would never forget. Walking my first Survivor
Lap was a moment that is irreplaceable.
I walked with my whole family, my team was cheering me on, and I couldn’t
help but smile! This smile was an honest smile, the smile that you try so hard
to hold in but it sneaks out. This wasn't a posed smile in a photo, but 100%
REAL! That is what Relay For Life is all about; it is REAL people coming to
support REAL Survivors, to remember REAL loved ones, and to raise a REAL lot of
money for a REAL bad disease. That is why I Relay!
I am participating in the
American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life because I want to make a HUGE
difference in the fight against cancer!
Almost everyone has been
touched by cancer, either through their own personal battle or through someone
they love.
When I was 9 months old, I
was diagnosed with liver cancer. I am now 13 years old and 12 years cancer
free! How great is that?!
I am so glad that the
doctors found my cancer when I was young. Early detection was key to saving my
life. Also because of that, I don't remember any of the treatment itself, but I
do remember the aftercare. What aftercare is for those who don’t know, it is
the process after cancer is in remission to make sure it never EVER comes back,
and it also meant a lot of hospital visits. Yes, it was hard going in every
week for quite some time getting tests done, and I don’t want ANYONE to have to
go through that. THAT IS WHY I AM RELAYING!
On December 10th 2012, about
a week ago, my mom told the family that she was diagnosed with stage one breast
cancer. It is scary, I don’t know how to handle it. A few days later she went
to the doctor and they said that she won't have to go through chemo, and
surgery, but that simple radiation will cure it. Thank Goodness.
If you are thinking, Cancer
is everywhere right now. Lots of people have it, so lots of money is already
being raised, so why should I even raise $100? I will tell you why, because
$100 can save a life!
I used to think, "Why
me?" But NOW I know that I had
cancer and survived for a reason. I am not ashamed to say, "YES, I am a survivor!"
Please join a Relay team or
make a donation to help the American Cancer Society to create a world with less
cancer and more birthdays. Together, we can help make sure that cancer never
steals or ruins another year of anyone’s life.
Monday, December 10, 2012
I posted this last year as well...
It's Not Easy Being Santa
By Rick Reilly
It's that time of year again, when our thoughts turn to that lovable plus-sized elf with the ruddy red cheeks, the white hair and the belly of jelly, the one who never needs an airplane.
John Madden.
No, actually, Santa Claus.
This holiday season the morals of a lot of athletes are lower than flounder droppings. The other day I heard a worried announcer say, "What must kids think of the way we adults are behaving?" But you really can't ask kids because when a kid is asked a question by an adult, the only thing the kid thinks is, How huge are this man's nostrils?
Kids trust Santa, though. They'll tell Santa anything. So I set out to conduct the Santa Sports Survey. Disguised as Saint Nick, I would spend 90 minutes at each of three Boys & Girls Clubs in metro Denver. I loaded the trunk with toys and trinkets, borrowed a Santa suit from the Cherry Creek Mall and called Susen Mesco of Amerevents.com, which runs one of the best Santa Schools in the country.
"Don't play Santa," she advised. "Be Santa."
She also said something odd. "Never ask what the children want for Christmas." Huh? "Ask, What would you like to tell Santa? Because a lot of times, what they want has nothing to do with toys. For instance, what will you do if a child says, 'Santa, I want you to bring my mommy back to life'?"
(Silence)
"You say, 'Sorry, Santa can't do that. But you know what? Sometimes our sleigh flies so high, we pass right by heaven. What do you want to tell your mom, and I'll give her a message.'"
I wasn't sure I was ready for this.
The clubs were all in poor sections of the city. At each club I was given a room and about 70 squirmy kids, ages six to 10. And right away I learned something -- I make a lousy Santa.
"Who are you?" one girl asked.
"Since when does Santa drive a sedan?" a boy said, suspiciously.
"Uh, that hurts," another girl said as I tried to tickle her.
One kid wanted to know how old I was. "Just turned 1,310," I said. He went Frisbee-eyed. I said, "I know, I don't look that old."
"No, you do," he said.
One little girl wanted to know where Rudolph was. "Rudolph pulled a hammy," I said. "This year the sleigh is going to be guided by Sylvester, from the temp agency."
(Blank stare)
I kept trying to ask my state-of-sports questions, but I might as well have been asking about pork-belly futures. Not one of them knew about Barry Bonds's BALCO connection. In fact, if I were running baseball, I'd be worried. Not one kid had a favorite ballplayer. Not one of them wanted a bat or glove. Few of them even had favorite pros in any sport: Local hero Carmelo Anthony of the Nuggets was mentioned the most, followed by two Philadelphia stars, Terrell Owens of the Eagles and Allen Iverson of the Sixers. The athletes the kids most wanted to spend time with were their dads.
"Could you bring me a fishing pole so my daddy will take me fishing with him?" one little girl asked. Another wanted a soccer ball, "'cause I think my dad would play soccer with me then."
I kept trying to hit them with survey questions like, "Do you view athletes as role models in this age of ...," and they kept hitting me with real life.
"Santa, for Christmas could you make the bill collectors stop coming?" one boy said. "It makes my mom cry."
A little girl said, "Santa, could you bring us a new house? The one we have now leaks all the time."
Lots of kids wanted hats and shoes and coats. "I want clothes," said one boy. What kind? "The warm kind," he said.
Another kid wanted to be an NBA star and make "a million dollars."
"What would you spend it on?" I asked.
"Doctors," she said, "for my cousin. She's four. She has cancer."
I told one seven-year-old boy, "Last year I came by and you were still awake, so I had to go do Dallas first until you fell asleep. So this year I want you to go right to sleep."
And he said, "That's not true, Santa. Last year you forgot my house."
I learned nothing new about sports, but plenty about how spoiled my life was, how Scroogish my spirit, how narrow my vision.
One somber eight-year-old girl was making her first visit to the club. She'd been sent from another state to live with her uncles because there were "issues" at home. She looked as if somebody had just sat on her birthday cake.
"What can Santa make you this Christmas?" I asked her.
She turned and looked at me with huge, hopeful eyes.
"Happy?" she asked.
Be Santa.
By Rick Reilly
It's that time of year again, when our thoughts turn to that lovable plus-sized elf with the ruddy red cheeks, the white hair and the belly of jelly, the one who never needs an airplane.
John Madden.
No, actually, Santa Claus.
This holiday season the morals of a lot of athletes are lower than flounder droppings. The other day I heard a worried announcer say, "What must kids think of the way we adults are behaving?" But you really can't ask kids because when a kid is asked a question by an adult, the only thing the kid thinks is, How huge are this man's nostrils?
Kids trust Santa, though. They'll tell Santa anything. So I set out to conduct the Santa Sports Survey. Disguised as Saint Nick, I would spend 90 minutes at each of three Boys & Girls Clubs in metro Denver. I loaded the trunk with toys and trinkets, borrowed a Santa suit from the Cherry Creek Mall and called Susen Mesco of Amerevents.com, which runs one of the best Santa Schools in the country.
"Don't play Santa," she advised. "Be Santa."
She also said something odd. "Never ask what the children want for Christmas." Huh? "Ask, What would you like to tell Santa? Because a lot of times, what they want has nothing to do with toys. For instance, what will you do if a child says, 'Santa, I want you to bring my mommy back to life'?"
(Silence)
"You say, 'Sorry, Santa can't do that. But you know what? Sometimes our sleigh flies so high, we pass right by heaven. What do you want to tell your mom, and I'll give her a message.'"
I wasn't sure I was ready for this.
The clubs were all in poor sections of the city. At each club I was given a room and about 70 squirmy kids, ages six to 10. And right away I learned something -- I make a lousy Santa.
"Who are you?" one girl asked.
"Since when does Santa drive a sedan?" a boy said, suspiciously.
"Uh, that hurts," another girl said as I tried to tickle her.
One kid wanted to know how old I was. "Just turned 1,310," I said. He went Frisbee-eyed. I said, "I know, I don't look that old."
"No, you do," he said.
One little girl wanted to know where Rudolph was. "Rudolph pulled a hammy," I said. "This year the sleigh is going to be guided by Sylvester, from the temp agency."
(Blank stare)
I kept trying to ask my state-of-sports questions, but I might as well have been asking about pork-belly futures. Not one of them knew about Barry Bonds's BALCO connection. In fact, if I were running baseball, I'd be worried. Not one kid had a favorite ballplayer. Not one of them wanted a bat or glove. Few of them even had favorite pros in any sport: Local hero Carmelo Anthony of the Nuggets was mentioned the most, followed by two Philadelphia stars, Terrell Owens of the Eagles and Allen Iverson of the Sixers. The athletes the kids most wanted to spend time with were their dads.
"Could you bring me a fishing pole so my daddy will take me fishing with him?" one little girl asked. Another wanted a soccer ball, "'cause I think my dad would play soccer with me then."
I kept trying to hit them with survey questions like, "Do you view athletes as role models in this age of ...," and they kept hitting me with real life.
"Santa, for Christmas could you make the bill collectors stop coming?" one boy said. "It makes my mom cry."
A little girl said, "Santa, could you bring us a new house? The one we have now leaks all the time."
Lots of kids wanted hats and shoes and coats. "I want clothes," said one boy. What kind? "The warm kind," he said.
Another kid wanted to be an NBA star and make "a million dollars."
"What would you spend it on?" I asked.
"Doctors," she said, "for my cousin. She's four. She has cancer."
I told one seven-year-old boy, "Last year I came by and you were still awake, so I had to go do Dallas first until you fell asleep. So this year I want you to go right to sleep."
And he said, "That's not true, Santa. Last year you forgot my house."
I learned nothing new about sports, but plenty about how spoiled my life was, how Scroogish my spirit, how narrow my vision.
One somber eight-year-old girl was making her first visit to the club. She'd been sent from another state to live with her uncles because there were "issues" at home. She looked as if somebody had just sat on her birthday cake.
"What can Santa make you this Christmas?" I asked her.
She turned and looked at me with huge, hopeful eyes.
"Happy?" she asked.
Be Santa.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Pickled Almonds
Tracking my calories consistently has been one of my struggles since school started back up three months ago. Finding the time to track them could be an excuse because this school year seems to be the busiest one of my career thus far, but that would be a lie. Using myfitnesspal on my phone is too quick and easy for time to be my issue. I planned my meals so well, that I know exactly what my calories are could also be reason to not track consistently, and not only is that a lie, but a lie that I was believing.
One cup of oatmeal, 300 calories. Tablespoon of raw sugar on my oatmeal, 15 calories. Fuge Greek Yogurt, 120 calories. And that is a somewhat typical breakfast, 435 calories.
Two slices of Sara Lee 45 Cal Wheat Bread, 90 calories. One serving of Extra Crunchy Skippy, 190 calories. One serving of Grape Jelly, 50 calories. One sliced Red Bell Pepper, 40 calories. One medium apple, 90 calories. 1/4 cup Almonds, 180 calories. And that is a typical lunch, 640 calories.
Radams Custom Salad, 485 calories. Too many ingredients to list, is a typical dinner.
Nu Go Bar, 170 calories. Cliff Bar, 240 calories. Are typical snacks.
One day total of 1970 calories. Right around my goal of 2000 a day to lose weight at a healthy pace.
So what is the problem? Why am I continuing to struggle with putting a few pounds back on?
This week I became diligent in tracking my calories on myfitnesspal once again. The results were a surprise, but then not a surprise. We have all heard of grazing. The little bites here and there that we put into our mouth and think nothing of at the time. The small morsels that when they stand alone would be considered healthy, but when added up over a day can be the difference in gaining or losing weight.
While my oatmeal was cooking, I would munch on a few almonds because "a little extra protein in the morning will kick-start my metabolism." When I got home from work I would have a 10-12 pickled asparagus spears, or green olives because "at five calories a piece, they won't kill me, and it's vegetables." I was having a beer, or glass of wine with dinner because, "I worked my ass off at work and I deserve it." Of course I mean two or three drinks...Ugh!
These little bites, small morsels and "deserved" beverages added up to more calories consumed than votes were counted for legalizing marijuana. I was taking on uncounted calories like the Titanic was taking on water. And I was pretending there was not a problem, just like the crew of the Titanic did for the first hour of its demise. Hopefully, I can grab some buckets and start bailing pickled asparagus spears, almonds and unwarranted beverages from my calorie count before this weight loss ship sinks to its demise.
One cup of oatmeal, 300 calories. Tablespoon of raw sugar on my oatmeal, 15 calories. Fuge Greek Yogurt, 120 calories. And that is a somewhat typical breakfast, 435 calories.
Two slices of Sara Lee 45 Cal Wheat Bread, 90 calories. One serving of Extra Crunchy Skippy, 190 calories. One serving of Grape Jelly, 50 calories. One sliced Red Bell Pepper, 40 calories. One medium apple, 90 calories. 1/4 cup Almonds, 180 calories. And that is a typical lunch, 640 calories.
Radams Custom Salad, 485 calories. Too many ingredients to list, is a typical dinner.
Nu Go Bar, 170 calories. Cliff Bar, 240 calories. Are typical snacks.
One day total of 1970 calories. Right around my goal of 2000 a day to lose weight at a healthy pace.
So what is the problem? Why am I continuing to struggle with putting a few pounds back on?
This week I became diligent in tracking my calories on myfitnesspal once again. The results were a surprise, but then not a surprise. We have all heard of grazing. The little bites here and there that we put into our mouth and think nothing of at the time. The small morsels that when they stand alone would be considered healthy, but when added up over a day can be the difference in gaining or losing weight.
While my oatmeal was cooking, I would munch on a few almonds because "a little extra protein in the morning will kick-start my metabolism." When I got home from work I would have a 10-12 pickled asparagus spears, or green olives because "at five calories a piece, they won't kill me, and it's vegetables." I was having a beer, or glass of wine with dinner because, "I worked my ass off at work and I deserve it." Of course I mean two or three drinks...Ugh!
These little bites, small morsels and "deserved" beverages added up to more calories consumed than votes were counted for legalizing marijuana. I was taking on uncounted calories like the Titanic was taking on water. And I was pretending there was not a problem, just like the crew of the Titanic did for the first hour of its demise. Hopefully, I can grab some buckets and start bailing pickled asparagus spears, almonds and unwarranted beverages from my calorie count before this weight loss ship sinks to its demise.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Not Quite Shame, But Close
Responding to my subtle calls for help, friends now sit and wait for me to reply to their gentle words of care and concern. Waiting for a hint that I am still in this life-change process. Some praying for my strength and focus to return to its previous form. To those friends, an answer is in the works, and I owe you for forcing me to search. I owe you for being there, without being "Up In There."
Myfitnesspal, the web-based system with a phone app that I have used to track my food, has been missing me apparently. Some friends have noticed that I have not logged on much lately and sent me gentle reminders. My favorite was a message that just read, "If you bite it, write it." Followed soon after with a, "Go Dawgs!"
A few friends that have been checking my blog have sent text messages that have asked if I have found my "weigh" and wondered if I needed help finding it because they have search lights and know a guy with a hound dog. Another friend blamed me for his lack of sleep because according to him, he is staying up late listening for the glass ceiling to break.
Still a few more have reached out further and sent me encouraging FB messages, and asked about talking soon, or meeting. I fight off the lump in my throat and watery eyes each time I read them.
Yet, I have not replied. I have realized, while searching for my reply, that I have not lost my way entirely. I have created some healthy habits and changed my life-style enough that I will not go back to the way I was before. I don't even look at certain foods anymore. I walk to talk to people at work instead of emailing or calling. It's more fun to see them, and I get more steps in my day. My fruits and veggies are still way up from before and my meats and oils are still down. I have not put back on a ton of weight, just 10 pounds.
I was reaching a low mentally. Not quite shame, which comes with some ugly eating, but it was close. Those people that have reached out, kept me from that tipping point. Thank you!
Time to pay you back with some healthy living!
Myfitnesspal, the web-based system with a phone app that I have used to track my food, has been missing me apparently. Some friends have noticed that I have not logged on much lately and sent me gentle reminders. My favorite was a message that just read, "If you bite it, write it." Followed soon after with a, "Go Dawgs!"
A few friends that have been checking my blog have sent text messages that have asked if I have found my "weigh" and wondered if I needed help finding it because they have search lights and know a guy with a hound dog. Another friend blamed me for his lack of sleep because according to him, he is staying up late listening for the glass ceiling to break.
Still a few more have reached out further and sent me encouraging FB messages, and asked about talking soon, or meeting. I fight off the lump in my throat and watery eyes each time I read them.
Yet, I have not replied. I have realized, while searching for my reply, that I have not lost my way entirely. I have created some healthy habits and changed my life-style enough that I will not go back to the way I was before. I don't even look at certain foods anymore. I walk to talk to people at work instead of emailing or calling. It's more fun to see them, and I get more steps in my day. My fruits and veggies are still way up from before and my meats and oils are still down. I have not put back on a ton of weight, just 10 pounds.
I was reaching a low mentally. Not quite shame, which comes with some ugly eating, but it was close. Those people that have reached out, kept me from that tipping point. Thank you!
Time to pay you back with some healthy living!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
What Am I Doing?
I feel like I have lost my "weigh." I cannot see my "weigh" through this rut that I am in. I cannot decide if I am on a slippery slope of destruction, or hitting a bump in the road on my "weigh" towards achieving my goals. Where is my plan? Where is my diligence? Where is my follow through?
I wrote about breaking that glass ceiling. I planned to make a change and set things in a forward motion once again. I envisioned myself leaping at a 100 pounds lost. I lost my "weigh."
I could list the excuses, but that helps nothing.
Work, Relay, family, friends, birthday, life...What are they if I am not at my best?
I have put nearly 10 pounds back on just in the last 3 weeks. Wake up Ryan. You need you.
I wrote about breaking that glass ceiling. I planned to make a change and set things in a forward motion once again. I envisioned myself leaping at a 100 pounds lost. I lost my "weigh."
I could list the excuses, but that helps nothing.
Work, Relay, family, friends, birthday, life...What are they if I am not at my best?
I have put nearly 10 pounds back on just in the last 3 weeks. Wake up Ryan. You need you.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Glass Ceiling at 90?
Plateau: high elevation, low relief
I remember that definition from my 8th grade Social Studies class. I thought it was odd to have a definition in which I would need to look up another word to know what it meant. Who, besides Geologists, uses the word relief to mean variations in elevation for an area of earth? Yeah, that's what it means.
Today, plateau for me is defined by the number 90. As in, I have been down 90 pounds since June. My progress to get to 90 was fast and furious! 90 pounds in seven months, and it felt like I could lose 100 by the end of July. Then over the summer a few things happened. I am guessing these things can explain the plateau. I started hiking about once a week, which started to rebuild muscles in my legs that had been dormant for quite sometime. My John Deere riding lawnmower broke down and my Dad loaned me a push mower, with no drive feature, to use on my acreage. Pushing that Toro over molehills and holes started to build muscles in my chest, shoulders and back that have not been used since my football playing days.
We've all heard that muscle weighs more than fat, so I was assuming that I was losing fat and gaining muscle. The ideal situation for someone trying to be more healthy. But seeing that same number for days, weeks and months starts to grind at that part of the brain that motivates me to keep going. Am I not eating healthy enough? Is all of this effort worth staying at the same weight? Do I stop hiking just so I see that number change? Do I have balance in my habits?
School started for me in the middle of August, and I felt that this is my chance to get back into my consistent eating habits. My meals will be more planned out, and at similar times each day. My body will kick back into gear. This is what I need to get the ball rolling again.
Well if you read my last few posts, you saw that life reached hectic, high-stress-level-craziness. And I caught myself stress eating a few times. I am also giving myself, upon reflection, too many "free days." I have tickets to Huskies Football, and I tailgate with a great group of people. (Shout out to the Dawg Sled!) On those days, I allow myself to go over my calorie count. I mean OVER my calorie count! So at school, I feel like I am doing well, but I am not allowing myself to maintain that on weekends.
Life's struggles are hitting me right now. I need to refocus, and make a change. The good thing about a glass ceiling is, glass breaks. Look out below! Glass is gonna be falling soon!
I remember that definition from my 8th grade Social Studies class. I thought it was odd to have a definition in which I would need to look up another word to know what it meant. Who, besides Geologists, uses the word relief to mean variations in elevation for an area of earth? Yeah, that's what it means.
Today, plateau for me is defined by the number 90. As in, I have been down 90 pounds since June. My progress to get to 90 was fast and furious! 90 pounds in seven months, and it felt like I could lose 100 by the end of July. Then over the summer a few things happened. I am guessing these things can explain the plateau. I started hiking about once a week, which started to rebuild muscles in my legs that had been dormant for quite sometime. My John Deere riding lawnmower broke down and my Dad loaned me a push mower, with no drive feature, to use on my acreage. Pushing that Toro over molehills and holes started to build muscles in my chest, shoulders and back that have not been used since my football playing days.
We've all heard that muscle weighs more than fat, so I was assuming that I was losing fat and gaining muscle. The ideal situation for someone trying to be more healthy. But seeing that same number for days, weeks and months starts to grind at that part of the brain that motivates me to keep going. Am I not eating healthy enough? Is all of this effort worth staying at the same weight? Do I stop hiking just so I see that number change? Do I have balance in my habits?
School started for me in the middle of August, and I felt that this is my chance to get back into my consistent eating habits. My meals will be more planned out, and at similar times each day. My body will kick back into gear. This is what I need to get the ball rolling again.
Well if you read my last few posts, you saw that life reached hectic, high-stress-level-craziness. And I caught myself stress eating a few times. I am also giving myself, upon reflection, too many "free days." I have tickets to Huskies Football, and I tailgate with a great group of people. (Shout out to the Dawg Sled!) On those days, I allow myself to go over my calorie count. I mean OVER my calorie count! So at school, I feel like I am doing well, but I am not allowing myself to maintain that on weekends.
Life's struggles are hitting me right now. I need to refocus, and make a change. The good thing about a glass ceiling is, glass breaks. Look out below! Glass is gonna be falling soon!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Roll My Eyes and Si(gh)
Wielding a set of golf clubs, shoes and a hat, I drove my "Lil' Hummer" all over the great state of Washington this summer playing round after round of a game that can make a Buddhist Monk scream profanities after duffing an easy chip-shot, and make a Nihilist pray to God that his putt will drop. I love playing golf for many reasons, none of which I will be able to put into words, because it's one of those indescribably beautiful art forms that no one will ever perfect.
What about Tiger ten years ago, or Rory now? No, they have not perfected their golf game, and you know that each time they are interviewed. "Rory, you won by 10 strokes! You must be happy with the way things went today?" "Well, yeah Bill, but there are a couple of shots that I wouldn't mind having back to try again." And there you have it. A human's pursuit of perfection is not based on victory. It's based on what they feel they are capable of, and humans know that they can always do better.
Last summer, most of my rounds of golf scored in the mid to upper 90's. This summer I was 90 pounds lighter and had a new set of clubs to go with my more athletic swing. I was excited to see what I could do with my new weapons. One of my first rounds of the summer was at a little cheap course in North Bend, Cascade Golf Course. I had never played there before, but was happy to have the chance to warm-up my swing on a short course with wide-open fairways. On the last few holes I knew I was playing pretty well, and I was lucky with a few good bounces, but I was shocked to see an 86 on my scorecard at the end of the day. I had only scored less than 90 once in my career before this day, and now I did in one of my first rounds of the summer? In the back of my head, I knew the short, flat course with almost no hazards helped keep my score low, but I was jacked!
I stood for a moment and reflected on why I was so happy. Was it because I beat Matt Mantie, a buddy who had been whooping me for years? Was it just seeing a low number on the card? Was it that I now had ammo to talk smack with other golfing buddies? No. It was bigger.
I worked hard for six months to turn my health around. I learned how to grocery shop for healthy foods, how to prepare them, when in the day to eat them and how to take simple steps to burn more calories in the day. I lost 90 pounds, my cholesterol dropped 75 points, I was feeling healthy, and now I was playing golf better than I ever thought I could. As I stood there thinking, I looked up at Mt. Si; a mountain I used to be able to hike with ease. But I have not been able to hike in 8 years because my body was too heavy to carry up that trail.
I looked up at the peak and made a promise to myself that I would climb that mountain again, this summer! I felt proud for making the goal, then cheesy for feeling proud...I rolled my eyes, gave myself a deep Si(gh), and walked to the car.
View from the top of Mt. Si on September 3rd, last day of the summer vacation, with Chris Harrison.
What about Tiger ten years ago, or Rory now? No, they have not perfected their golf game, and you know that each time they are interviewed. "Rory, you won by 10 strokes! You must be happy with the way things went today?" "Well, yeah Bill, but there are a couple of shots that I wouldn't mind having back to try again." And there you have it. A human's pursuit of perfection is not based on victory. It's based on what they feel they are capable of, and humans know that they can always do better.
Last summer, most of my rounds of golf scored in the mid to upper 90's. This summer I was 90 pounds lighter and had a new set of clubs to go with my more athletic swing. I was excited to see what I could do with my new weapons. One of my first rounds of the summer was at a little cheap course in North Bend, Cascade Golf Course. I had never played there before, but was happy to have the chance to warm-up my swing on a short course with wide-open fairways. On the last few holes I knew I was playing pretty well, and I was lucky with a few good bounces, but I was shocked to see an 86 on my scorecard at the end of the day. I had only scored less than 90 once in my career before this day, and now I did in one of my first rounds of the summer? In the back of my head, I knew the short, flat course with almost no hazards helped keep my score low, but I was jacked!
I stood for a moment and reflected on why I was so happy. Was it because I beat Matt Mantie, a buddy who had been whooping me for years? Was it just seeing a low number on the card? Was it that I now had ammo to talk smack with other golfing buddies? No. It was bigger.
I worked hard for six months to turn my health around. I learned how to grocery shop for healthy foods, how to prepare them, when in the day to eat them and how to take simple steps to burn more calories in the day. I lost 90 pounds, my cholesterol dropped 75 points, I was feeling healthy, and now I was playing golf better than I ever thought I could. As I stood there thinking, I looked up at Mt. Si; a mountain I used to be able to hike with ease. But I have not been able to hike in 8 years because my body was too heavy to carry up that trail.
I looked up at the peak and made a promise to myself that I would climb that mountain again, this summer! I felt proud for making the goal, then cheesy for feeling proud...I rolled my eyes, gave myself a deep Si(gh), and walked to the car.
View from the top of Mt. Si on September 3rd, last day of the summer vacation, with Chris Harrison.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Long Time No Post
Starting school up this year has been completely different than previous years. A colleague and I were selected for a training in order to start a program called WEB (Where Everyone Belongs). The program is designed to empower the older students in the school to be positive mentors for incoming 7th graders, and to set the tone for their time here at Leota JH. The entire first of day school is based on the absence of adults and the WEB Leaders do most of the work with the 7th graders.
Developing a program such as this takes a great deal of time, energy and resources. My colleague and I gave up 4 days of our Spring Break last year to go to the training, and several more days this summer in order to ensure this program's success. The last three weeks have been a whirlwind that I have not quite recovered from yet. I stopped tracking my food for about a week, and I felt myself "stress-eating" a couple of times. I have felt myself slipping, but I have not fallen.
Once this first week of school is completely done, I will have time to reflect on my summer, settle into school, and fill you in on my plans for the year. Sorry for the long break in posts (for those of you still checking in...).
Developing a program such as this takes a great deal of time, energy and resources. My colleague and I gave up 4 days of our Spring Break last year to go to the training, and several more days this summer in order to ensure this program's success. The last three weeks have been a whirlwind that I have not quite recovered from yet. I stopped tracking my food for about a week, and I felt myself "stress-eating" a couple of times. I have felt myself slipping, but I have not fallen.
Once this first week of school is completely done, I will have time to reflect on my summer, settle into school, and fill you in on my plans for the year. Sorry for the long break in posts (for those of you still checking in...).
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Single Malt Irish
A person does not get to be 34 years old and single without friends and family questioning, if only in their minds, the reasons for which one is single. Especially a person whose longest relationship has been 8 weeks. Is he a commitment-phobe? Is he self-sabotaging possible relationships? Could it be both? Does he just have no "game"? Is he damaged goods? I am sure the question, "Is he gay?" has been uttered a time or two.
Dating today seems too casual in my opinion. Maybe it was my addiction to TV and movies growing up, but I feel like even a first date should be with someone with whom you are excited about spending time. The build up to asking someone out should have the suspense of the final vault by the gymnast in second place in the All-Around competition. (Sorry. The Olympics are everywhere right now.) The palms should be sweaty. The butterflies in the belly. Blood rushing,...somewhere that makes you a little light-headed. That's where the excitement is first generated in a relationship.
Today, people browse profiles, get set-up by family and friends or start dating after a drunk hook-up. Each of these methods are fine and work for some, but not for me. Browsing profiles takes the thrill out for me, and when someone does not even reply to a 'wink' or email, that is worse than someone saying no in person. It is efficient though. You can look through a lot of not-so-great, in order to get to great. But I still think of online profiles as a Toyota Camry. Reliable but not inspiring.
Getting set-up by friends and family has the opposite effect for me. Dating should have a little stress, and nervousness. That is good. That is kinda fun, but knowing that there are people sitting at home, who set you up, watching the clock, wondering how it's going and talking about our potential relationship just freaks me out. It takes the fun away, and makes me feel like I will be letting not only myself and my date down if I do or say the wrong thing, but also the people at home living vicariously through the set-up.
And drunk hook-ups, come on. If you know me, this is not how I roll.
So maybe I am a commitment-phobe. Maybe I am damaged goods. But I believe the excitement and thrill is out there for me. So until then, I will be might sweet self. Living Single Malt Irish!
Dating today seems too casual in my opinion. Maybe it was my addiction to TV and movies growing up, but I feel like even a first date should be with someone with whom you are excited about spending time. The build up to asking someone out should have the suspense of the final vault by the gymnast in second place in the All-Around competition. (Sorry. The Olympics are everywhere right now.) The palms should be sweaty. The butterflies in the belly. Blood rushing,...somewhere that makes you a little light-headed. That's where the excitement is first generated in a relationship.
Today, people browse profiles, get set-up by family and friends or start dating after a drunk hook-up. Each of these methods are fine and work for some, but not for me. Browsing profiles takes the thrill out for me, and when someone does not even reply to a 'wink' or email, that is worse than someone saying no in person. It is efficient though. You can look through a lot of not-so-great, in order to get to great. But I still think of online profiles as a Toyota Camry. Reliable but not inspiring.
Getting set-up by friends and family has the opposite effect for me. Dating should have a little stress, and nervousness. That is good. That is kinda fun, but knowing that there are people sitting at home, who set you up, watching the clock, wondering how it's going and talking about our potential relationship just freaks me out. It takes the fun away, and makes me feel like I will be letting not only myself and my date down if I do or say the wrong thing, but also the people at home living vicariously through the set-up.
And drunk hook-ups, come on. If you know me, this is not how I roll.
So maybe I am a commitment-phobe. Maybe I am damaged goods. But I believe the excitement and thrill is out there for me. So until then, I will be might sweet self. Living Single Malt Irish!
Monday, July 16, 2012
I Did Not Know...
That I could eat too little.
I mean I knew it's physically possible to starve myself, but I did not know that I was capable of eating so little that my body refused to lose weight. That is what appeared to happen over the last month. I have kept using myfitnesspal.com and have been pretty good about sticking to it. There were a couple days at the end of the school year that I gave myself permission to over my calories for the end of the year party and such. But for the most part I have down well keeping with my calorie count.
I was getting frustrated that my weight was staying at 90 pounds down, and I started to seek advice. I spoke with my friends, Matt and Erin, and they asked about my calorie target. I was still scheduled to lose two pounds a week and my "activity level" was still set at sedentary. My goal was 1920 per day. "Dude, that's low," Matt responded. We discussed that now that it was summer, and I am more active that I need to adjust my activity level and switch from two pounds, to one and a half pounds per week. I made these adjustments and my calorie goal increased to 2660 per day. I was skeptical that this would lead to weight loss, but I dove in head first. I increased my breakfast size, and dinner size and added another snack in the day. It only took four days for my body to start burning calories at a higher rate and I saw results. I have lost another three pounds since the change and I can feel my body getting back on the losing track. Interesting eh?
Oh, and for those of you that are not Facebook friends, I hiked Wallace Falls to the third level last week. It's was a big deal for me as I have not down that in 8 years. This week I am going to attempt Lake Serene on Mt Index. Wish me luck!
I mean I knew it's physically possible to starve myself, but I did not know that I was capable of eating so little that my body refused to lose weight. That is what appeared to happen over the last month. I have kept using myfitnesspal.com and have been pretty good about sticking to it. There were a couple days at the end of the school year that I gave myself permission to over my calories for the end of the year party and such. But for the most part I have down well keeping with my calorie count.
I was getting frustrated that my weight was staying at 90 pounds down, and I started to seek advice. I spoke with my friends, Matt and Erin, and they asked about my calorie target. I was still scheduled to lose two pounds a week and my "activity level" was still set at sedentary. My goal was 1920 per day. "Dude, that's low," Matt responded. We discussed that now that it was summer, and I am more active that I need to adjust my activity level and switch from two pounds, to one and a half pounds per week. I made these adjustments and my calorie goal increased to 2660 per day. I was skeptical that this would lead to weight loss, but I dove in head first. I increased my breakfast size, and dinner size and added another snack in the day. It only took four days for my body to start burning calories at a higher rate and I saw results. I have lost another three pounds since the change and I can feel my body getting back on the losing track. Interesting eh?
Oh, and for those of you that are not Facebook friends, I hiked Wallace Falls to the third level last week. It's was a big deal for me as I have not down that in 8 years. This week I am going to attempt Lake Serene on Mt Index. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
What Happened To War?
I know it wasn't just me. Many comics have bits about it. One of my favorite bits about it is from John Heffron. He was talking about how times have changed. When he was a kid, his Dad would come home from working the night shift at 7am and kick the kids out of the house. No one would check on them, look for them, there was no Amber Alert and the kids just played all day. The first time his Dad would see him again was at 10pm when he went back in the house.
"You in for the night?" his Dad asked.
"Nope. Just grabbing flash lights."
I remember these summer days. Walk to the store in the morning to grab snacks for the day. And by snacks I mean Lemon Heads, Jolly Ranchers, Air Heads and my favorite Fun Dips! Then build a jump in the afternoon for our bikes, skateboards and scooters. As sunset rolled around it was some type of game. Football, whiffle ball, tag or the ever deadly, Red Rover.
After the sun went down was the real fun. WAR! We broke into teams, set up bases(or safety spots for the wusses like me), gathered ammo(pine cones and flash lights) and the war was on! If you got hit with one pine cone, you were wounded but a team member could get you back to base to be "fixed." Hit twice with a pine cone before being fixed and you were out. If someone from the other team was close enough to shine a flash light in your face without you wounding them or shining them, you were out.
We played for hours! We changed up teams to be fair, but I think my brothers and friends just wanted to trade me around so one team was not stuck with me the whole time. As long as the neighbors did not call to complain about us and Saturday Night Live was still on, Mom watched it each week, we played past mid-night.
What happened to that game? Who wants to burn some calories playing WAR?
"You in for the night?" his Dad asked.
"Nope. Just grabbing flash lights."
I remember these summer days. Walk to the store in the morning to grab snacks for the day. And by snacks I mean Lemon Heads, Jolly Ranchers, Air Heads and my favorite Fun Dips! Then build a jump in the afternoon for our bikes, skateboards and scooters. As sunset rolled around it was some type of game. Football, whiffle ball, tag or the ever deadly, Red Rover.
After the sun went down was the real fun. WAR! We broke into teams, set up bases(or safety spots for the wusses like me), gathered ammo(pine cones and flash lights) and the war was on! If you got hit with one pine cone, you were wounded but a team member could get you back to base to be "fixed." Hit twice with a pine cone before being fixed and you were out. If someone from the other team was close enough to shine a flash light in your face without you wounding them or shining them, you were out.
We played for hours! We changed up teams to be fair, but I think my brothers and friends just wanted to trade me around so one team was not stuck with me the whole time. As long as the neighbors did not call to complain about us and Saturday Night Live was still on, Mom watched it each week, we played past mid-night.
What happened to that game? Who wants to burn some calories playing WAR?
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Stigmatize the Obese?
This is a summary of a column written in The Sunday Times, in London. Original author is Rod Little. I would love to hear your thoughts on what he has to say.
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I get that times have changed, said Rod Little. "In my school days, every class I was in had one fat kid, whom everyone bullied until he cried, and that was it." Nowadays, of course, skinny kids aren't supposed to make fun of their heavier classmates, and perhaps that's for the better. But why not mock the grown ups? National health authorities have just issued new guidelines telling doctors "not to use the word 'obese' when delivering advice to the sweating mountains of compacted lard" that waddle into their offices. Evidently "obese" is seen as a derogatory term that might hurt people's feelings. Don't they realize that's the kind of kick we all need? I'm overweight, and once, after a local polish man called me a fat slob, I was so mortified I took to the treadmill for six grueling weeks. Maybe "if I were stigmatized a bit more regularly , I might get down to the gym more often, or cut out the wine." In fact, if we remove the stigma from obesity, what's to prevent us from succumbing to the siren song of KFC? It's far too easy to avoid the truth if nobody calls you fat to your face.
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I get that times have changed, said Rod Little. "In my school days, every class I was in had one fat kid, whom everyone bullied until he cried, and that was it." Nowadays, of course, skinny kids aren't supposed to make fun of their heavier classmates, and perhaps that's for the better. But why not mock the grown ups? National health authorities have just issued new guidelines telling doctors "not to use the word 'obese' when delivering advice to the sweating mountains of compacted lard" that waddle into their offices. Evidently "obese" is seen as a derogatory term that might hurt people's feelings. Don't they realize that's the kind of kick we all need? I'm overweight, and once, after a local polish man called me a fat slob, I was so mortified I took to the treadmill for six grueling weeks. Maybe "if I were stigmatized a bit more regularly , I might get down to the gym more often, or cut out the wine." In fact, if we remove the stigma from obesity, what's to prevent us from succumbing to the siren song of KFC? It's far too easy to avoid the truth if nobody calls you fat to your face.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Dick-O-Rama!
Talk about temptation.
Most people that grew up in the Seattle Area have eaten at Dick's Drive-in and know that the cheap burgers are widely appreciated and devoured. I remember going there as a child with my Dad in his 1965 Impala before or after Mariners games. I remember going there with my Mom before or after visiting Grandma and Grandpa. I remember making trips out to Lake City with friends on the weekends, and bringing college friends up from Oregon just to try a Dick's Deluxe.
Once in high school, a friend thought he could get to the Lake City Dick's during lunch, and get back to Juanita High School without being late to class. He walked into class 10 minutes late, but proudly held up his Dick's bag. The teacher excused his tardy knowing the value of a Dick's burger. The next day, I told my tardy friend to meet me at my car, the previously mentioned Impala was now mine, right after 4th period. I told him that I thought I could get to Dick's and back without being late. He laughed and said it was not possible, but he would join me. A third friend joined in the fun and the next day we sped out of the parking lot moments after 4th period ended.
I should still be in jail for all the laws I broke on this little lunch-time jaunt. I was driving 80 mph in a 25 mph zone and passing people on the shoulder. I would use the left turn lane at lights as a passing lane going 90 mph on Bothell Way. I crossed into on coming traffic to pass people while going up and over Simons Road. I ran red lights, used the bus only lane and even hit a sidewalk during one stunt-like pass. By the time we got to Dick's, my two buddies were curled up in the fetal position in the backseat with their eyes closed.
I ordered for the three of us, threw the food in the backseat with the babies and started back toward Kirkland. We made it back with about 5 minutes to spare.
That is the power of Dick's! So last night when I attended the Dick-O-Rama, which is hitting all 6 locations in one evening, I was tested. Is this a true life change? Answer, yes. I only had a Diet Coke, Coffee, and two hamburgers. I finished the night with an extra 300 calories in my pocket!
It feels good to make good choices!
Most people that grew up in the Seattle Area have eaten at Dick's Drive-in and know that the cheap burgers are widely appreciated and devoured. I remember going there as a child with my Dad in his 1965 Impala before or after Mariners games. I remember going there with my Mom before or after visiting Grandma and Grandpa. I remember making trips out to Lake City with friends on the weekends, and bringing college friends up from Oregon just to try a Dick's Deluxe.
Once in high school, a friend thought he could get to the Lake City Dick's during lunch, and get back to Juanita High School without being late to class. He walked into class 10 minutes late, but proudly held up his Dick's bag. The teacher excused his tardy knowing the value of a Dick's burger. The next day, I told my tardy friend to meet me at my car, the previously mentioned Impala was now mine, right after 4th period. I told him that I thought I could get to Dick's and back without being late. He laughed and said it was not possible, but he would join me. A third friend joined in the fun and the next day we sped out of the parking lot moments after 4th period ended.
I should still be in jail for all the laws I broke on this little lunch-time jaunt. I was driving 80 mph in a 25 mph zone and passing people on the shoulder. I would use the left turn lane at lights as a passing lane going 90 mph on Bothell Way. I crossed into on coming traffic to pass people while going up and over Simons Road. I ran red lights, used the bus only lane and even hit a sidewalk during one stunt-like pass. By the time we got to Dick's, my two buddies were curled up in the fetal position in the backseat with their eyes closed.
I ordered for the three of us, threw the food in the backseat with the babies and started back toward Kirkland. We made it back with about 5 minutes to spare.
That is the power of Dick's! So last night when I attended the Dick-O-Rama, which is hitting all 6 locations in one evening, I was tested. Is this a true life change? Answer, yes. I only had a Diet Coke, Coffee, and two hamburgers. I finished the night with an extra 300 calories in my pocket!
It feels good to make good choices!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Reflection
Pledge plans. That is
what gave me the idea. In 8th
grade math, students begin to develop a deeper understanding of linear
algebra. We provide a variety of
real-life problems that use linear algebra to make the math more concrete and
relevant to their lives. Ordering
T-shirts for sports team, buying trays of muffins from Costco and Pledge Plans
for a Walk-A-Thon are among these real-life problems.
The pledge plans vary in dollar amounts to show how the
equations can affect the tables, graphs and money raised. A $5 donation plus $2 per lap would look
like, y=2x+5. We have used supplements
like this in class for years, and students connect to these problems fairly
quickly. This last summer I was hiking
with a fellow math teacher, Chris Harrison, and we were discussing these
supplements and how we could improve upon them.
He asked if anyone at Relay For Life uses pledge plans to raise money,
and I knew a few kids that tried it last year with limited success. He asked if I had considered using pledge
plans and I told him that as Event Chair I did not have enough time to walk a
lot of laps, so a per lap model would not benefit me much. This conversation led me to consider
variations on the same idea. $1 per
___? What could I do that would fill in
this blank?
I have season tickets to Husky Football with a group of
friends, and we tailgate with The Dawg Sled.
Two good friends, Matt and Erin, had recently begun losing weight by
using myfitnesspal and the P90 videos.
They were looking great and became the topic of a few tailgate
conversations. These conversations became
awkward for my friends. My keen
observation skills allowed me to see that some of them were trying to tactfully
tell me that I needed to do something about my weight. They tried to delicately tell me that my
weight was out of control. That must not
have been easy for you guys, but I thank you!
Discussing the pledge plan supplements and being reminded
that I was too many tons-of-fun, got me thinking about combining these two
goals. I threw the idea out to a few
folks, and it was well received. We
discussed the parameters of such a fundraiser/life-change. Would I ask for fifty-cents per pound, $1 per
pound or $2 per pound? It was suggested
that I make the minimum $1, and then let people decide if they wanted to pledge
more, but I should not restrict people’s generosity.
The idea was hatched, and began writing my initial
email. It was humbling to write about my
failure to be even remotely healthy. I
was embarrassed to allow so many people into my sad state, but I told myself,
“This can’t be any more embarrassing than walking around at this weight.” I poured a lot into that email, and I read it
over several times trying to make sure I did not misrepresent my
intentions. I wanted to be honest about
my goals, and what I was asking in return.
The response was incredible!
As the number of people willing to sponsor my weight-loss climbed over
25, 50, 100 and finally ending at 126 people, I felt knots in my stomach. I felt a weight on my shoulders that I had
never felt. For my entire life, if I was
fat, I felt like I was only letting myself down. Now I felt that if I stayed fat, I would be
letting 126 people down. I am people
pleaser. That is my personality
type. The thought of letting down 126
people scared me, and that was my initial motivation. I changed my eating habits and started
walking because I did not want to fail with so many people behind me.
As time progressed and the weight started coming off, things
changed. My clothes started to fit
better, then they were too big, then I pulled out my old smaller clothes, and
they started to be too big. I shopped at
Value Village for sizes I had not fit in 7-8 years, and now they fit. Now those
are too big. My cholesterol dropped 75
points! I had a hop in my step that I
have not had in 10 years. My shoes fit
better, my car seemed bigger, my golf swing is smoother, I can walk up a flight
of stairs without feeling winded, I sweat less and I am happier.
My view of this whole thing switched. My driving force started with fundraising and
being a better role model for my students, then it was not to embarrass myself
with 126 people on board, and then it became health, fitness and
happiness. The physical and mental
benefits started to shine and I wanted to eat healthier and be more active to
be a better me. I look back at my posts
and I see this transformation.
I thanked everyone for being my motivation to get
started. I thanked everyone for
supporting the ACS. I thanked everyone
for their encouragement. I thanked
everyone for their weight-loss ideas. I
thanked everyone for being my army. I
thought of my army those first few months, and it gave me strength. As time passed and the weight continued the
fall, my strength came from the progress, the results, the happiness and I
realized that this is not temporary.
This is not over. I am internally
motivated to lose more, do more and be fit!
I went shopping at Target the other day to buy, well…I’ll just
say it. I needed to underwear because my
old ones were too big and not doing their duty. While I was there I noticed
some Golf Polos. At first I did not give
them much attention because I have not been able to buy shirts at a store like
Target in almost 20 years. The biggest size they have is 2XL, and I have not
worn a 2XL since junior year of high school, but since I have dropped 10 pant
sizes, I thought, “Why not take a look?”
I held a few up and felt like it was a possibility that they could
fit. I threw a couple in my cart and
told myself that if they didn’t fit, I could always bring them back.
When I got home I eagerly took off my sweatshirt and tried
on the first polo. As I put my arms
through the body of the shirt I thought for sure this is not going to fit. You know how you get to know the feeling of
shirts when you put them on? Maybe it
just big guys, but when my arms go into a shirt and I feel like I have to pinch
them close together just to get my hands to the sleeves, the shirt is not going
to fit. My arms felt tight in this shirt
before my hands got the sleeves and before the shirt went over my head. But something amazing happened. As the shirt slid down my arms and over my torso,
it almost felt like the shirt grew and loosened up on me. I know the shirt did not grow, but it was I that had
shrunk. I am maybe 10 pounds away from
wearing these polos and being completely comfortable in them. 2XL!?
What? I can hardly believe
it. Abercrombie, here I come! :)
I think I made up for not writing a post in awhile by
writing too much. Oh well, I will be
more consistent now that school is winding down and Relay is finished. To answer some questions I have received: No,
not everyone came through on their donations.
But I am in a 2XL, so I have better things to occupy my thoughts with
now!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Type A I Am Not
Relay For Life Week is an insane week of last minute meetings, Bank Night, registration reports, money reports, chaperone meetings and student organizing. The very next week was End of Course Exams for our Alg 1 and Geometry students. As Dept Head, I had a responsibility to help create the scheduling for those days, prepare over 230 graphing calculators for testing, pass along information to parents, students and teachers, and do my best to prepare my students to pass this ridiculous test. Oh, I am one of two coordinators for a new orientation/mentor program for incoming students at our school. Brand new program, starting this year. All of these were in the same 10 day span!
Luckily I had help! My Relay Committee is awesome! Two math teachers helped me with the calcs. The other coordinator for the new program is Type A, so she keeps me under control, and we work well together. Couldn't have survived with these amazing people!
I still want to keep teaching my students. There is still more I want them to know. But I need a break.
I am working on a weight-loss reflection. It will chronicle some of my internal feelings about the past 6 months. Where I was, where I think I am going and what changes have I gone through physically and emotionally. This will be a big piece of writing, so it is taking me longer, and I want to make sure I am clear. I will send the big out one with an email reminder.
Thanks!
Luckily I had help! My Relay Committee is awesome! Two math teachers helped me with the calcs. The other coordinator for the new program is Type A, so she keeps me under control, and we work well together. Couldn't have survived with these amazing people!
I still want to keep teaching my students. There is still more I want them to know. But I need a break.
I am working on a weight-loss reflection. It will chronicle some of my internal feelings about the past 6 months. Where I was, where I think I am going and what changes have I gone through physically and emotionally. This will be a big piece of writing, so it is taking me longer, and I want to make sure I am clear. I will send the big out one with an email reminder.
Thanks!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Before the After
Before I post an "After" picture of me, I wanted to look at my before pic one more time. I felt a little nauseous when I first went back to my December post with my before pic. Please, do not enjoy...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Losing Me, Finding Myself
Losing Me, Finding Myself
It’s not original. I did not seek out and steal a name for my blog, but after I thought of it and used it, I found that several others have used the same title for their work. I don’t remember hearing it before I started this, but I may have and then it stuck in my subconscious until the moment I typed it. That’s not the point. I chose Losing Me, Finding Myself because I felt that I had lost myself over the years. I mentioned in the post titled “What We Feel, But Do Not Tell,” that when I was deeply depressed I felt like I had to put on the “Ryan Show” when I was out of my house so people would not suspect that I was hurting so much inside. This “show” was tiresome. Physically and emotionally exhausting. But I think the “show” started long before my depression.
In school the pressure to be cool, popular and have friends was intense. I don’t think everyone felt the pressure, and if they did, they kept it to themselves. I felt it, and I found myself trying be what others thought I should be, or say what others thought I should say. Finding a balance between doing the cool thing, and being myself became difficult and often I lost track of where that line was in relation to my actions. Around some friends I was the foul-mouthed jokester that would mock anything that moved. Around other friends I was the compassionate nice guy that would listen and try to help out in any way. It was awkward for me when I felt like I had to play the two roles at the same time if I were around a group of people.
Humor became the common avenue I could use no matter who was around. I just had to scale up, or scale down the crudeness, rudeness or profanity of the joke depending on who was around. Mocking myself was not only funny, but also a defense mechanism. I felt like I needed to make fun of my weight before someone else did so they were less likely to do so. Chris Farley was the fat-funny-guy of the time, so I took on his actions and words because it made for quick and easy jokes. The balance between being myself and trying to be the fat-funny-guy definitely was lost.
Being a giant to most people I know also grew into my persona. I needed to be the guy to take on food challenges because fat-guys eat a lot! Right?!?! I ate an entire Extra Large Meat Lovers Pizza and a pint of ice cream to prove I could. I ate the 7.5-pound Burrito from Gordito’s in 18 minutes. Then when a student said he beat my time, I went back and raced him. I ate it again in 5 minutes and 34 seconds. I ate for the Burger Cycle. Single Burger, Double Burger, Triple Burger and Quad Burger. All of them with cheese! I cleared the entire Dick’s Drive-in menu in one night. And that includes having two Dick's Deluxe along the way. WTH!
Somewhere along the way, even when not presented with a challenge, I felt like I had to eat the most. When I went out to dinner with friends or family, I did not look at the menu for what sounded good. I looked at the menu for what would give me the most food. My eating was like a 19 year old picking out his drinks at his first Frat Party. “What will get me the most drunk?” I wanted what would get me the most food-drunk.
It’s not original. I did not seek out and steal a name for my blog, but after I thought of it and used it, I found that several others have used the same title for their work. I don’t remember hearing it before I started this, but I may have and then it stuck in my subconscious until the moment I typed it. That’s not the point. I chose Losing Me, Finding Myself because I felt that I had lost myself over the years. I mentioned in the post titled “What We Feel, But Do Not Tell,” that when I was deeply depressed I felt like I had to put on the “Ryan Show” when I was out of my house so people would not suspect that I was hurting so much inside. This “show” was tiresome. Physically and emotionally exhausting. But I think the “show” started long before my depression.
In school the pressure to be cool, popular and have friends was intense. I don’t think everyone felt the pressure, and if they did, they kept it to themselves. I felt it, and I found myself trying be what others thought I should be, or say what others thought I should say. Finding a balance between doing the cool thing, and being myself became difficult and often I lost track of where that line was in relation to my actions. Around some friends I was the foul-mouthed jokester that would mock anything that moved. Around other friends I was the compassionate nice guy that would listen and try to help out in any way. It was awkward for me when I felt like I had to play the two roles at the same time if I were around a group of people.
Humor became the common avenue I could use no matter who was around. I just had to scale up, or scale down the crudeness, rudeness or profanity of the joke depending on who was around. Mocking myself was not only funny, but also a defense mechanism. I felt like I needed to make fun of my weight before someone else did so they were less likely to do so. Chris Farley was the fat-funny-guy of the time, so I took on his actions and words because it made for quick and easy jokes. The balance between being myself and trying to be the fat-funny-guy definitely was lost.
Being a giant to most people I know also grew into my persona. I needed to be the guy to take on food challenges because fat-guys eat a lot! Right?!?! I ate an entire Extra Large Meat Lovers Pizza and a pint of ice cream to prove I could. I ate the 7.5-pound Burrito from Gordito’s in 18 minutes. Then when a student said he beat my time, I went back and raced him. I ate it again in 5 minutes and 34 seconds. I ate for the Burger Cycle. Single Burger, Double Burger, Triple Burger and Quad Burger. All of them with cheese! I cleared the entire Dick’s Drive-in menu in one night. And that includes having two Dick's Deluxe along the way. WTH!
Somewhere along the way, even when not presented with a challenge, I felt like I had to eat the most. When I went out to dinner with friends or family, I did not look at the menu for what sounded good. I looked at the menu for what would give me the most food. My eating was like a 19 year old picking out his drinks at his first Frat Party. “What will get me the most drunk?” I wanted what would get me the most food-drunk.
These challenges do not make a person feel good. You end up feeling like crap. Forget exercise the next few days. Your body needs time to process all those meats, preservatives and sodium. I remember being able to step into a pick-up basketball game and hang for at least a little while. After years of food challenges and herniated discs, I could not step into car without breathing harder.
Over the past 6 months I have shared a lot of my personal history with you. I have shared my struggles, my victories and lessons learned. I feel like sharing honestly with all of you has helped me find more of myself. Just like Heather Sinclair helped me find my way to teaching. Just like my counselor helped me find my correct thought processes. Just like the Pear taught me that there are great foods that I have not tried yet. And each of you, my family, my friends, and my supporters helping me find the person I am meant to be in life.
I don’t need to be the fat-funny guy. Funny guy will do just fine. J I don’t need to be the challenge eater. I will be the guy who brings his own healthy food to the party. (The one I used to mock!) I don’t need to hide my struggles and pain. I will be the guy that shares too much and makes it awkward for everyone else because I know that bottling it up will make me want to eat away the struggles. I will be a better me!
I don’t think I have found myself completely, but I am going to keep shedding the pounds until I find myself. I am going to continue my weight-loss plan after this weigh-in. I don’t have a specific goal in mind, but I know it will require support from those around me. So if you want to keep reading, I am going to keep blogging after today. This in itself is therapeutic. Plus, if you remember “Athletes: The Good Kind” if I can keep the weight off or lose more, one of the most generous people I know will match everything I raise this year for next year! Thank you for the continued motivation Adam Eaton!
This is getting to be a long post! I bet a lot of people skipped the post and went straight to the number. J Oh well, I love ya for wanting to share in my success and for your generous donations. If you would like me to send you an email with your total amount “owed”, please let me know. I put owed in quotes because I am not going to hold anyone’s feet to the fire on these donations. I lost more weight than some of you thought when you signed on, and you may not have realized that I could have lost this much. Also, I am already going to set a fundraising record for the Northshore Relay Event, so I am not going to worry about who and how much and …blah, blah.
Use this link to go directly to my fundraising page and donate. This is a secure site, and is pretty easy to use. If you would like my mailing address, please let me know.
Thanks to everyone again and again!
I have lost 10 lbs since May 1st for a Grand Total of 85 POUNDS!! According to my crazy math, your generosity has helped raise $15,045 for cancer research and patient support!! If I throw in my Wine vs.Cancer money, my total should reach over $20,000 this week!!
Friday, May 25, 2012
You Say No. I Can't Say It.
Learning to say no can be difficult. For me saying no can be harder than eating 10
Saltine Crackers and whistling. More difficult than taking down a spoon full of
cinnamon. More challenging than jumping rope on a Pogo stick. And tougher than watching a child hit a
whiffle ball into their father’s privates and not laugh. I am not saying that I never say no. When I don’t have a choice in the matter, or
I already have a commitment, I can say no without worry. But lately my ability to say no has been
derailed by sincere requests for help.
Every Wednesday I offer free tutoring to all of my
students. I tell them from the first
week if school, “I will stay after school for 2 hours every Wednesday and help
anyone that has questions.” Early in the
school year, I don’t get many takers. A
couple of A-students wanting to earn Brownie-points will stay, and then maybe
one or two kids that actually need help.
When the D/F grades start showing up on progress reports, the parents
start to calling and emailing. I mention
Want Help Wednesdays and all of a sudden I have 20 kids in my room on
Wednesdays. It’s hard to give every kid
the attention they deserve.
A couple of months ago I was meeting with one of my 9th
graders who I had been worried about because all Alg 1 students need to pass an
End Of Course Exam in order to graduate from high school. Oh and next year, they all have to pass a
Geometry End Of Course Exam to graduate high school. I am not going to hop on my Soap Box now,
but these High-Stakes Tests are a bunch of B.S.! Anywho, this kid has not passed a state test
since the 3rd grade, and I need to get her to pass the Alg 1
EOC. We were discussing how I could help
her, and she said that she could not come on Wednesdays because she has other
Wednesday commitments, but she asked if she could stay on Mondays. So, here I have a 15-year-old student who is
willing to give up 2 hours of her own time to stay and work on math. How can I
say no?
Turns out, kids talk.
I now have 7 kids that stay every Monday for 2 hours. I had to limit Mondays to just my Alg 1
students who did not pass the state test last year. (I have a lot more than 7
students who did not pass the state test last year, but these are the ones that
are willing to stay and are able to get rides home.) Otherwise I would have 20+
students like I do on Wednesdays. I also
have one student that can only stay every other Friday due to divorced parents
and house hopping. I can’t say no to a
kid that is willing to give up their Fridays to get better at math, can I?
Then there is Relay For Life. Just in the month of May I can count 22 days
in which I had at least one Relay meeting, fundraiser, speaking engagement or
obligation. A lot of those days had
multiple meetings, or they took up most of the day. “Hey Ryan, we are having fundraiser and it
would be great if you could come give the opening remarks and talk about the
Northshore Relay and the good work ACS is doing?” How do I say no to that?
Sleep has been an afterthought. Exercise has been non-existent. Luckily, myfitnesspal keeps my eating
somewhat under control. This has not been my healthiest month, but
life can get like this, and I feel like I have done well under the
circumstances.
One thing that helps me when life gets this tough is knowing
that I have an army of supporters behind me. People that are willing to sponsor
my weight-loss, give me eating tips, exercise tips, go on a hike with me, walk
with me and talk me through the rough patches.
I may already sound like a broken record, but I thank you for giving me
the motivation, the encouragement and belief that I can make this life-change
come true. Thank you!
My final weigh-in post will be coming tomorrow. Check back!
One more thing: Relay For Life is on June 2nd and
I would love it if you all came by to see the amazing work my committee has done
to make this event happen. I may not be
able to talk to you as much as I would like because I will be running around in
full stress mode, but I would still love to see you there. I also know that I have a few readers that
are cancer survivors. Please, please come walk in the Survivor Lap! It’s how we start Relay, and YOU are the
reason we Relay! Survivors take the
first lap, and 1000 people honor your fight by cheering you on. You may not like to receive the attention,
but it is powerful and makes our time and effort worth it to see so many
survivors on the track. If you know any
survivors, please ask them to come walk with us! I don’t care if they don’t live in
Northshore. Bring them and share in this amazing event. Survivors can register to walk the opening
lap with the link below. We want you to
register so we can have a shirt and gift for you. Please, please sign up all survivors!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
The Final Days, Or The Start
Saturday is my big weigh-in and I am feeling a bit scared. I'll be honest (because I haven't been honest at all on this blog), I am completely frightened of what will happen after Saturday. Do I have what it takes to keep this going?
I have spoken to many people about how much I have learned in this process. I expressed that I was surprised at simplicity of losing the weight. Eat less, exercise more. Stick to it. I have rambled on and on that I know I can continue my healthy eating habits well after this Saturday, but the truth is, I'm scared.
I have lost weight before and I put it back on. I have felt like an athlete before and ended up on my couch like a bump on a log. I am already thinking about what I will eat on Sunday! Am I going to throw all this hard work away?
I lay in bed and type this on my phone wondering, are these the final days, or the start to a lifetime of a better me?
I'm scared
I have spoken to many people about how much I have learned in this process. I expressed that I was surprised at simplicity of losing the weight. Eat less, exercise more. Stick to it. I have rambled on and on that I know I can continue my healthy eating habits well after this Saturday, but the truth is, I'm scared.
I have lost weight before and I put it back on. I have felt like an athlete before and ended up on my couch like a bump on a log. I am already thinking about what I will eat on Sunday! Am I going to throw all this hard work away?
I lay in bed and type this on my phone wondering, are these the final days, or the start to a lifetime of a better me?
I'm scared
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
A Different Kind of Weight
There is an old SNL skit with Jay Mohr, Chris Farley and some other guys in which they were talk show hosts. The topic of the show was weight lifting and all of the hosts had these padded sweatshirts on to make their upper body look massive and then sticking out from the chairs were fake little chicken legs that flopped around when they yelled. They would take call-in questions and begin every conversation with, "What 'cha bench?" The skit basically made fun of guys that feel that being ripped makes them more of a man. The skit always ended with all of the hosts having a 'Roid-rage.'
I think of that skit sometimes when I am tempted to talk about my lifting days while playing football. My job on the field was to protect my QB and running back by tossing around 250-300lb men. It required some strength and a lot if technique. In the off season I would lift five days a week and during the season three days a week.
The reason I bring this up, I am approaching my playing weight from my freshman year of college. It's not a low weight and not where I want to end up, but it is a benchmark number for me. I also realize that back then, I had a lot more muscle than I do now. So the number on the scale may read the same very soon, but it's a different kind of weight. I still have a lot more fat than I did then. I will be proud when I reach it, but it will also be a reminder that I can do even better.
Here's to reaching a benchmark and knowing it's just a marker of better things to come!
I think of that skit sometimes when I am tempted to talk about my lifting days while playing football. My job on the field was to protect my QB and running back by tossing around 250-300lb men. It required some strength and a lot if technique. In the off season I would lift five days a week and during the season three days a week.
The reason I bring this up, I am approaching my playing weight from my freshman year of college. It's not a low weight and not where I want to end up, but it is a benchmark number for me. I also realize that back then, I had a lot more muscle than I do now. So the number on the scale may read the same very soon, but it's a different kind of weight. I still have a lot more fat than I did then. I will be proud when I reach it, but it will also be a reminder that I can do even better.
Here's to reaching a benchmark and knowing it's just a marker of better things to come!
Friday, May 11, 2012
May Madness
10 days since my last post. I did not realize it had been so long. Numerous new adventures are in full motion right now, and I recognized my lack of writing only after being prompted by a few people who were missing their afternoon distraction from work, that is my blog.
I mentioned in an earlier post about a training I attended at Skamania Lodge over Spring Break. That training, the best I have ever been to, was for a program that I am helping kick start at my school called WEB (Where Everyone Belongs). We train student leaders who will run the 7th grade orientation for new students, and teach them how to be great junior high students. It is a program that continues throughout the school year with check-ins with new students and fun activities to keep them involved in the school. It will be amazing, but starting the program is a great deal of work.
Relay For Life fundraisers are constantly happening throughout the month of May and as the event chair, I have a hand in most of them. I was a judge in a Battle of the Bands, my committee and I organized a Garage Sale for 20 teams, I help promote jewelry sales, bake sales, Jamba Juice sales, auctions, sweatshirt sales, raffles and candle parties. Each fundraiser usually comes with a planning meeting with me, supplies needed from me, and a post event meeting with me.
Then I have my own fundraisers that I am running. I had a "booth" at last week's garage sale, which was great! Thank you to my Mom, the VanGerpens, Ric and Cathy and the Baer family for their donations to my sales. Special thanks to Rich VanGerpen for lending me his truck and trailer for the day, and for prepping them, loading them and cleaning them up once I returned them to you in a less than perfect state. :)
This Saturday (5/12) I have Wine vs Cancer from 2-4pm at Baer Winery in Woodinville. This is the 3rd time I have held this fundraiser and it gets better every year! More wineries have donated this year than ever before, and more people have RSVP'd than ever before. I can't express how much great wine we have this year. The price of a tasting at a winery is $5, and if you come to this event, you get to taste up to 20 of Washington's Best Wines for $25! Special thanks to Baer for hosting again, Chris and Kristin for being our food and wine experts, Adam Eaton for generously donating from his own wine cellar and a round of golf at Sahalee Country Club for 3! Please come by, all are welcome.
Throughout all of these new adventures, I am finding the time to eat healthy. I am dedicated to using myfitnesspal everyday and making sure I am meeting my nutritional goals. I have not weighed in since May 1st, and I won't until May 25th. I don't think I will hit my last goal of 90 pounds lost, but I am not stopping after May 25th either. I may not stop until I reach 125 pounds lost...stay tuned.
I mentioned in an earlier post about a training I attended at Skamania Lodge over Spring Break. That training, the best I have ever been to, was for a program that I am helping kick start at my school called WEB (Where Everyone Belongs). We train student leaders who will run the 7th grade orientation for new students, and teach them how to be great junior high students. It is a program that continues throughout the school year with check-ins with new students and fun activities to keep them involved in the school. It will be amazing, but starting the program is a great deal of work.
Relay For Life fundraisers are constantly happening throughout the month of May and as the event chair, I have a hand in most of them. I was a judge in a Battle of the Bands, my committee and I organized a Garage Sale for 20 teams, I help promote jewelry sales, bake sales, Jamba Juice sales, auctions, sweatshirt sales, raffles and candle parties. Each fundraiser usually comes with a planning meeting with me, supplies needed from me, and a post event meeting with me.
Then I have my own fundraisers that I am running. I had a "booth" at last week's garage sale, which was great! Thank you to my Mom, the VanGerpens, Ric and Cathy and the Baer family for their donations to my sales. Special thanks to Rich VanGerpen for lending me his truck and trailer for the day, and for prepping them, loading them and cleaning them up once I returned them to you in a less than perfect state. :)
This Saturday (5/12) I have Wine vs Cancer from 2-4pm at Baer Winery in Woodinville. This is the 3rd time I have held this fundraiser and it gets better every year! More wineries have donated this year than ever before, and more people have RSVP'd than ever before. I can't express how much great wine we have this year. The price of a tasting at a winery is $5, and if you come to this event, you get to taste up to 20 of Washington's Best Wines for $25! Special thanks to Baer for hosting again, Chris and Kristin for being our food and wine experts, Adam Eaton for generously donating from his own wine cellar and a round of golf at Sahalee Country Club for 3! Please come by, all are welcome.
Throughout all of these new adventures, I am finding the time to eat healthy. I am dedicated to using myfitnesspal everyday and making sure I am meeting my nutritional goals. I have not weighed in since May 1st, and I won't until May 25th. I don't think I will hit my last goal of 90 pounds lost, but I am not stopping after May 25th either. I may not stop until I reach 125 pounds lost...stay tuned.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Not So New, But New
Relay For Life of Northshore is having a Garage Sale this Saturday at Pop Keeney in Bothell from 10am-2pm. Yes, it was a shameless plug, but it is also the start to my blog topic for today.
Riffling through my Mom's garage looking for items that I could take to the Relay garage sale, I found two bags of clothes that I had been storing there since the tree fell on my house 16 months ago. These were clothes that I either outgrew, as in I was too fat for, or I purchased online and when they arrived, I could not get my fat-ass into them. A lot of them were brand new, with tags still on them.
I took them home and sorted them into piles. One pile, crap to get rid of. Another, still need to lose more weight. And the third pile, holy crap this looks good, and I can fit into it now! Needless to say, I am very excited to have some new, but not new clothes to wear. I was worried about the in-between stages of my weight-loss where I didn't want to buy a new wardrobe, but the bagginess of my current clothes looked a bit ridonkulous. I debated on throwing these clothes out after the tree fell because, "I won't be that small ever again..." But now they fit. It feels good!
Today was my 2nd to last weigh-in. I will not weigh-in again until May 25th, the last day of this fundraiser. Not even an unofficial weigh-in to check myself. I want that last number to be a surprise! After May 25th, that's when you all need to pay up. :) You will have one week from the final weigh-in to the day of Relay to get your donations in. I am not going to hold anyone's feet to the fire on the donation amount. If I lost more than you had thought I would, don't worry about the donation amount. I appreciate the motivation you gave me, and the support along the way. I owe my life to each one of you. Thank you for helping me find myself!
Today's weigh-in, I dropped 5 pounds for a total of 75 pounds lost! What can I do in the final 25 days?!?!?!
Riffling through my Mom's garage looking for items that I could take to the Relay garage sale, I found two bags of clothes that I had been storing there since the tree fell on my house 16 months ago. These were clothes that I either outgrew, as in I was too fat for, or I purchased online and when they arrived, I could not get my fat-ass into them. A lot of them were brand new, with tags still on them.
I took them home and sorted them into piles. One pile, crap to get rid of. Another, still need to lose more weight. And the third pile, holy crap this looks good, and I can fit into it now! Needless to say, I am very excited to have some new, but not new clothes to wear. I was worried about the in-between stages of my weight-loss where I didn't want to buy a new wardrobe, but the bagginess of my current clothes looked a bit ridonkulous. I debated on throwing these clothes out after the tree fell because, "I won't be that small ever again..." But now they fit. It feels good!
Today was my 2nd to last weigh-in. I will not weigh-in again until May 25th, the last day of this fundraiser. Not even an unofficial weigh-in to check myself. I want that last number to be a surprise! After May 25th, that's when you all need to pay up. :) You will have one week from the final weigh-in to the day of Relay to get your donations in. I am not going to hold anyone's feet to the fire on the donation amount. If I lost more than you had thought I would, don't worry about the donation amount. I appreciate the motivation you gave me, and the support along the way. I owe my life to each one of you. Thank you for helping me find myself!
Today's weigh-in, I dropped 5 pounds for a total of 75 pounds lost! What can I do in the final 25 days?!?!?!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Not Your Typical Options
Eating has taken on an almost sport-like quality. The object of the game is to stay under the calorie goal for the day, while still eating food that has a taste that won't make me feel like I am missing out on the 'good stuff,' and eating a quantity that won't make my tum-tum feel empty all the time. This is a game of trial an error, and sometimes the error will smack you right in the ass.
I may have written about the day that I thought I had enough calories left to have dessert at Applebee's. Even after dinner I had like 800 calories left, so I ordered the ice cream with a cookie. It was delicious! Then I plugged it into myfitnesspal and saw it was 1500 calories! Smack!
It's the little things that make the difference. I grew up eating Mayo on pretty much everything. Sandwiches, artichoke, tomatoes, tuna, hot dogs and sometimes on salads. I could have eaten mayo by the spoon full and not batted an eye. I said goodbye to mayo long ago, but before I started this life-change, it was cheese on everything. Now I have to make a decision. Do I put a slice of cheese on my sandwich, or be able to eat a quarter cup of trail mix later today? I'll take the trail mix every time.
Some other little choices that are helping me win the sport of eating right: Using non-fat sour cream on sandwiches instead of another condiment. Marie's Yogurt Dressing on my salads. It is creamy and flavorful without all the calories and fat. Kellogg's Fiber Plus Antioxidants is the best cereal I have found. It only has 26 total carbs, nine of which are dietary fiber, and the cinnamon flavor reminds me of the sugary cereals of my youth, but without all the calories. Of course MGD 64 for when I need a beverage after work, but don't want to kill my dinner calories.
These are a few of my new food choices. Leave a comment and tell me about your good choices.
I may have written about the day that I thought I had enough calories left to have dessert at Applebee's. Even after dinner I had like 800 calories left, so I ordered the ice cream with a cookie. It was delicious! Then I plugged it into myfitnesspal and saw it was 1500 calories! Smack!
It's the little things that make the difference. I grew up eating Mayo on pretty much everything. Sandwiches, artichoke, tomatoes, tuna, hot dogs and sometimes on salads. I could have eaten mayo by the spoon full and not batted an eye. I said goodbye to mayo long ago, but before I started this life-change, it was cheese on everything. Now I have to make a decision. Do I put a slice of cheese on my sandwich, or be able to eat a quarter cup of trail mix later today? I'll take the trail mix every time.
Some other little choices that are helping me win the sport of eating right: Using non-fat sour cream on sandwiches instead of another condiment. Marie's Yogurt Dressing on my salads. It is creamy and flavorful without all the calories and fat. Kellogg's Fiber Plus Antioxidants is the best cereal I have found. It only has 26 total carbs, nine of which are dietary fiber, and the cinnamon flavor reminds me of the sugary cereals of my youth, but without all the calories. Of course MGD 64 for when I need a beverage after work, but don't want to kill my dinner calories.
These are a few of my new food choices. Leave a comment and tell me about your good choices.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Kindle Fire!
Thank you to those that could donate for my entry into the Kindle Fire drawing. I received about $1200 in about 30 hours for 24 entries into the drawing. I will let you all know if I win.
Your support means so much to me!
Your support means so much to me!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Running, Jogging, Laboring
Running. This is what I did in Jr High when I was part of the Track and Field team. I ran the two mile race and although I did not win much, I improved and ended the season with a decent time. Running four miles was nothing for me. I would run four miles, and when I finished, I wasn't breathing hard nor was I fatigued.
Jogging. This is what I did when I was still somewhat athletic. I jogged to warm-up for a football practice. I jogged to burn calories after a day of bad decisions in my eating. I jogged to the gym, lifted weights, and jogged home. I would sometimes jog out of boredom because it was easy and people on TV said I should be active.
Laboring. That is what I did yesterday. I have been feeling good lately. Feeling like my inner-athlete is trying to get out. I want him to get out; I need him to get out. So I set my alarm for 6:30am and drove the 7 minutes to my school to use the workout room. I used the elliptical trainer for 20 minutes, but then listened to my inner-athlete bagging on the layers of fat. After 20 minutes on the elliptical, I hopped off and went out to the track. "I can do this," I desperately tried to convince myself.
I started running, like I did in Jr High. This feels good. My inner-athlete was happy...for about 75 meters. Then my body said, "Uhh, no." I slowed down to a jog. That seemed to work for the next 300 meters, but then it became laborious. I finished the full lap, laboring the final 25 meters. I was breathing hard and felt fatigued. I walked for a half-lap, and felt ready again. I started at a jog, and felt good for the first 350 meters, but labored through the final 50 meters of the lap. I walked for a half-lap, and started again. This time my jog was a reduced version. Shorter strides, slower pace, but still a jog. This worked well as I finished the full-lap feeling good. I walked a half-lap, and started the reduced version of a jog again. I was feeling good for 300 meters, but labored through the final 100 meters.
It's a start. One mile jogged, with half-laps between each full-lap. For now I will take it as a starting point, and use it as something to build on.
As always, thank you all for making this a reality for me. I could not have done this without your help, encouragement and love!
Jogging. This is what I did when I was still somewhat athletic. I jogged to warm-up for a football practice. I jogged to burn calories after a day of bad decisions in my eating. I jogged to the gym, lifted weights, and jogged home. I would sometimes jog out of boredom because it was easy and people on TV said I should be active.
Laboring. That is what I did yesterday. I have been feeling good lately. Feeling like my inner-athlete is trying to get out. I want him to get out; I need him to get out. So I set my alarm for 6:30am and drove the 7 minutes to my school to use the workout room. I used the elliptical trainer for 20 minutes, but then listened to my inner-athlete bagging on the layers of fat. After 20 minutes on the elliptical, I hopped off and went out to the track. "I can do this," I desperately tried to convince myself.
I started running, like I did in Jr High. This feels good. My inner-athlete was happy...for about 75 meters. Then my body said, "Uhh, no." I slowed down to a jog. That seemed to work for the next 300 meters, but then it became laborious. I finished the full lap, laboring the final 25 meters. I was breathing hard and felt fatigued. I walked for a half-lap, and felt ready again. I started at a jog, and felt good for the first 350 meters, but labored through the final 50 meters of the lap. I walked for a half-lap, and started again. This time my jog was a reduced version. Shorter strides, slower pace, but still a jog. This worked well as I finished the full-lap feeling good. I walked a half-lap, and started the reduced version of a jog again. I was feeling good for 300 meters, but labored through the final 100 meters.
It's a start. One mile jogged, with half-laps between each full-lap. For now I will take it as a starting point, and use it as something to build on.
As always, thank you all for making this a reality for me. I could not have done this without your help, encouragement and love!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Finish Strong
Stepping on the scale this morning, I felt like I had made some good changes in my eating schedule and added steps to my day. I am feeling a little spring in my step and a desire to try some activities that have been lost to me for quite sometime. I even considered jogging for the first time in years.
Luckily, or unluckily(time will decide), someone was already at the track at the high school. Since this will be my first time jogging in years, and I am sure my muscle-memory for that activity is no longer in place and I am sure I will look like a fool; I chose to wait. But why do you need a high school track to jog Big Guy? This might be my own mental block, but I feel like my body reacts better with a rubber track under my feet, than with concrete when this much weight is coming down on them repeatedly. It's coming soon, but no will appear video to prove it.
I have lost 7 pounds since my last weigh-in, and am down a total of 70 with about 40 days left. I need to stay focused and make sure that after this "Final Official Weigh-in", I continue with this life-change. My "Finish Strong" is to finish the rest of my life strong. Not just these next 40 days. I have developed good habits. I now think about food in terms of nutrients vs calories. I have increased my activity and become a healthier me. Finish Strong, for life!
I am down in Skamania for a student orientation training that another teacher and I will be leading next year. Not the ideal spring break to be working, but I know it will be fun. Problem is, every meal is buffet. Dinner was lots of pasta dishes and steak dishes. I had two helpings of garden salad. I hope the options get better over the next 3 days!
Luckily, or unluckily(time will decide), someone was already at the track at the high school. Since this will be my first time jogging in years, and I am sure my muscle-memory for that activity is no longer in place and I am sure I will look like a fool; I chose to wait. But why do you need a high school track to jog Big Guy? This might be my own mental block, but I feel like my body reacts better with a rubber track under my feet, than with concrete when this much weight is coming down on them repeatedly. It's coming soon, but no will appear video to prove it.
I have lost 7 pounds since my last weigh-in, and am down a total of 70 with about 40 days left. I need to stay focused and make sure that after this "Final Official Weigh-in", I continue with this life-change. My "Finish Strong" is to finish the rest of my life strong. Not just these next 40 days. I have developed good habits. I now think about food in terms of nutrients vs calories. I have increased my activity and become a healthier me. Finish Strong, for life!
I am down in Skamania for a student orientation training that another teacher and I will be leading next year. Not the ideal spring break to be working, but I know it will be fun. Problem is, every meal is buffet. Dinner was lots of pasta dishes and steak dishes. I had two helpings of garden salad. I hope the options get better over the next 3 days!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
I'm Feeling It
Reiterating what I have said in previous posts, I know my body pretty well. I could tell my body hit a wall at the end of last month, and the night before my weigh-in I was talking with a friend on the phone and predicted a 2-3 pound weight-loss for those two weeks. The next day was a 3 pound loss. About a month earlier I was predicting a big number and that weigh-in was an 8 pound loss.
Tomorrow's weigh-in is a turning point for me I think. I am bouncing off the wall that I hit at my last weigh-in. I made some changes to my eating schedule. Most importantly, I am trying to eat more at breakfast & lunch, and then less at dinner. I am also trying to add more steps in my day. You know that little thing that you have heard so many times in your life. Add more steps and you'll be healthier. Well I am finally putting that into action. I am taking 15-20 minutes during my prep period at school to walk around campus, and after school I will either walk around the campus again, or take a walk in my neighborhood when I get home. I am not as consistent as I want to be, but making the conscious effort is helping.
My body is starting to feel more like an athlete again. My life before this weight-loss was a life of used-to-be. I used to be a football player. I used to be able to hike Mt. Si. I used to be able to run a 5k. I used to be able to put on my shoes without grunting. I used to be able to do a lot of things. Those activities are coming back to my life, and life is good!
I am not going to predict another 8 pound loss, but I think a 6-7 pound loss will not be out of the realm of possibilities. I won't be able to blog tomorrow as I will be driving down to Skamania Lodge for a student related training. Not the way I was hoping to spend my Spring Break, but I volunteered for it because this will be good for kids. So look for my post about my latest weigh-in on Monday.
Thanks for your support!
Tomorrow's weigh-in is a turning point for me I think. I am bouncing off the wall that I hit at my last weigh-in. I made some changes to my eating schedule. Most importantly, I am trying to eat more at breakfast & lunch, and then less at dinner. I am also trying to add more steps in my day. You know that little thing that you have heard so many times in your life. Add more steps and you'll be healthier. Well I am finally putting that into action. I am taking 15-20 minutes during my prep period at school to walk around campus, and after school I will either walk around the campus again, or take a walk in my neighborhood when I get home. I am not as consistent as I want to be, but making the conscious effort is helping.
My body is starting to feel more like an athlete again. My life before this weight-loss was a life of used-to-be. I used to be a football player. I used to be able to hike Mt. Si. I used to be able to run a 5k. I used to be able to put on my shoes without grunting. I used to be able to do a lot of things. Those activities are coming back to my life, and life is good!
I am not going to predict another 8 pound loss, but I think a 6-7 pound loss will not be out of the realm of possibilities. I won't be able to blog tomorrow as I will be driving down to Skamania Lodge for a student related training. Not the way I was hoping to spend my Spring Break, but I volunteered for it because this will be good for kids. So look for my post about my latest weigh-in on Monday.
Thanks for your support!
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