Relay For Life of Northshore is having a Garage Sale this Saturday at Pop Keeney in Bothell from 10am-2pm. Yes, it was a shameless plug, but it is also the start to my blog topic for today.
Riffling through my Mom's garage looking for items that I could take to the Relay garage sale, I found two bags of clothes that I had been storing there since the tree fell on my house 16 months ago. These were clothes that I either outgrew, as in I was too fat for, or I purchased online and when they arrived, I could not get my fat-ass into them. A lot of them were brand new, with tags still on them.
I took them home and sorted them into piles. One pile, crap to get rid of. Another, still need to lose more weight. And the third pile, holy crap this looks good, and I can fit into it now! Needless to say, I am very excited to have some new, but not new clothes to wear. I was worried about the in-between stages of my weight-loss where I didn't want to buy a new wardrobe, but the bagginess of my current clothes looked a bit ridonkulous. I debated on throwing these clothes out after the tree fell because, "I won't be that small ever again..." But now they fit. It feels good!
Today was my 2nd to last weigh-in. I will not weigh-in again until May 25th, the last day of this fundraiser. Not even an unofficial weigh-in to check myself. I want that last number to be a surprise! After May 25th, that's when you all need to pay up. :) You will have one week from the final weigh-in to the day of Relay to get your donations in. I am not going to hold anyone's feet to the fire on the donation amount. If I lost more than you had thought I would, don't worry about the donation amount. I appreciate the motivation you gave me, and the support along the way. I owe my life to each one of you. Thank you for helping me find myself!
Today's weigh-in, I dropped 5 pounds for a total of 75 pounds lost! What can I do in the final 25 days?!?!?!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Not Your Typical Options
Eating has taken on an almost sport-like quality. The object of the game is to stay under the calorie goal for the day, while still eating food that has a taste that won't make me feel like I am missing out on the 'good stuff,' and eating a quantity that won't make my tum-tum feel empty all the time. This is a game of trial an error, and sometimes the error will smack you right in the ass.
I may have written about the day that I thought I had enough calories left to have dessert at Applebee's. Even after dinner I had like 800 calories left, so I ordered the ice cream with a cookie. It was delicious! Then I plugged it into myfitnesspal and saw it was 1500 calories! Smack!
It's the little things that make the difference. I grew up eating Mayo on pretty much everything. Sandwiches, artichoke, tomatoes, tuna, hot dogs and sometimes on salads. I could have eaten mayo by the spoon full and not batted an eye. I said goodbye to mayo long ago, but before I started this life-change, it was cheese on everything. Now I have to make a decision. Do I put a slice of cheese on my sandwich, or be able to eat a quarter cup of trail mix later today? I'll take the trail mix every time.
Some other little choices that are helping me win the sport of eating right: Using non-fat sour cream on sandwiches instead of another condiment. Marie's Yogurt Dressing on my salads. It is creamy and flavorful without all the calories and fat. Kellogg's Fiber Plus Antioxidants is the best cereal I have found. It only has 26 total carbs, nine of which are dietary fiber, and the cinnamon flavor reminds me of the sugary cereals of my youth, but without all the calories. Of course MGD 64 for when I need a beverage after work, but don't want to kill my dinner calories.
These are a few of my new food choices. Leave a comment and tell me about your good choices.
I may have written about the day that I thought I had enough calories left to have dessert at Applebee's. Even after dinner I had like 800 calories left, so I ordered the ice cream with a cookie. It was delicious! Then I plugged it into myfitnesspal and saw it was 1500 calories! Smack!
It's the little things that make the difference. I grew up eating Mayo on pretty much everything. Sandwiches, artichoke, tomatoes, tuna, hot dogs and sometimes on salads. I could have eaten mayo by the spoon full and not batted an eye. I said goodbye to mayo long ago, but before I started this life-change, it was cheese on everything. Now I have to make a decision. Do I put a slice of cheese on my sandwich, or be able to eat a quarter cup of trail mix later today? I'll take the trail mix every time.
Some other little choices that are helping me win the sport of eating right: Using non-fat sour cream on sandwiches instead of another condiment. Marie's Yogurt Dressing on my salads. It is creamy and flavorful without all the calories and fat. Kellogg's Fiber Plus Antioxidants is the best cereal I have found. It only has 26 total carbs, nine of which are dietary fiber, and the cinnamon flavor reminds me of the sugary cereals of my youth, but without all the calories. Of course MGD 64 for when I need a beverage after work, but don't want to kill my dinner calories.
These are a few of my new food choices. Leave a comment and tell me about your good choices.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Kindle Fire!
Thank you to those that could donate for my entry into the Kindle Fire drawing. I received about $1200 in about 30 hours for 24 entries into the drawing. I will let you all know if I win.
Your support means so much to me!
Your support means so much to me!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Running, Jogging, Laboring
Running. This is what I did in Jr High when I was part of the Track and Field team. I ran the two mile race and although I did not win much, I improved and ended the season with a decent time. Running four miles was nothing for me. I would run four miles, and when I finished, I wasn't breathing hard nor was I fatigued.
Jogging. This is what I did when I was still somewhat athletic. I jogged to warm-up for a football practice. I jogged to burn calories after a day of bad decisions in my eating. I jogged to the gym, lifted weights, and jogged home. I would sometimes jog out of boredom because it was easy and people on TV said I should be active.
Laboring. That is what I did yesterday. I have been feeling good lately. Feeling like my inner-athlete is trying to get out. I want him to get out; I need him to get out. So I set my alarm for 6:30am and drove the 7 minutes to my school to use the workout room. I used the elliptical trainer for 20 minutes, but then listened to my inner-athlete bagging on the layers of fat. After 20 minutes on the elliptical, I hopped off and went out to the track. "I can do this," I desperately tried to convince myself.
I started running, like I did in Jr High. This feels good. My inner-athlete was happy...for about 75 meters. Then my body said, "Uhh, no." I slowed down to a jog. That seemed to work for the next 300 meters, but then it became laborious. I finished the full lap, laboring the final 25 meters. I was breathing hard and felt fatigued. I walked for a half-lap, and felt ready again. I started at a jog, and felt good for the first 350 meters, but labored through the final 50 meters of the lap. I walked for a half-lap, and started again. This time my jog was a reduced version. Shorter strides, slower pace, but still a jog. This worked well as I finished the full-lap feeling good. I walked a half-lap, and started the reduced version of a jog again. I was feeling good for 300 meters, but labored through the final 100 meters.
It's a start. One mile jogged, with half-laps between each full-lap. For now I will take it as a starting point, and use it as something to build on.
As always, thank you all for making this a reality for me. I could not have done this without your help, encouragement and love!
Jogging. This is what I did when I was still somewhat athletic. I jogged to warm-up for a football practice. I jogged to burn calories after a day of bad decisions in my eating. I jogged to the gym, lifted weights, and jogged home. I would sometimes jog out of boredom because it was easy and people on TV said I should be active.
Laboring. That is what I did yesterday. I have been feeling good lately. Feeling like my inner-athlete is trying to get out. I want him to get out; I need him to get out. So I set my alarm for 6:30am and drove the 7 minutes to my school to use the workout room. I used the elliptical trainer for 20 minutes, but then listened to my inner-athlete bagging on the layers of fat. After 20 minutes on the elliptical, I hopped off and went out to the track. "I can do this," I desperately tried to convince myself.
I started running, like I did in Jr High. This feels good. My inner-athlete was happy...for about 75 meters. Then my body said, "Uhh, no." I slowed down to a jog. That seemed to work for the next 300 meters, but then it became laborious. I finished the full lap, laboring the final 25 meters. I was breathing hard and felt fatigued. I walked for a half-lap, and felt ready again. I started at a jog, and felt good for the first 350 meters, but labored through the final 50 meters of the lap. I walked for a half-lap, and started again. This time my jog was a reduced version. Shorter strides, slower pace, but still a jog. This worked well as I finished the full-lap feeling good. I walked a half-lap, and started the reduced version of a jog again. I was feeling good for 300 meters, but labored through the final 100 meters.
It's a start. One mile jogged, with half-laps between each full-lap. For now I will take it as a starting point, and use it as something to build on.
As always, thank you all for making this a reality for me. I could not have done this without your help, encouragement and love!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Finish Strong
Stepping on the scale this morning, I felt like I had made some good changes in my eating schedule and added steps to my day. I am feeling a little spring in my step and a desire to try some activities that have been lost to me for quite sometime. I even considered jogging for the first time in years.
Luckily, or unluckily(time will decide), someone was already at the track at the high school. Since this will be my first time jogging in years, and I am sure my muscle-memory for that activity is no longer in place and I am sure I will look like a fool; I chose to wait. But why do you need a high school track to jog Big Guy? This might be my own mental block, but I feel like my body reacts better with a rubber track under my feet, than with concrete when this much weight is coming down on them repeatedly. It's coming soon, but no will appear video to prove it.
I have lost 7 pounds since my last weigh-in, and am down a total of 70 with about 40 days left. I need to stay focused and make sure that after this "Final Official Weigh-in", I continue with this life-change. My "Finish Strong" is to finish the rest of my life strong. Not just these next 40 days. I have developed good habits. I now think about food in terms of nutrients vs calories. I have increased my activity and become a healthier me. Finish Strong, for life!
I am down in Skamania for a student orientation training that another teacher and I will be leading next year. Not the ideal spring break to be working, but I know it will be fun. Problem is, every meal is buffet. Dinner was lots of pasta dishes and steak dishes. I had two helpings of garden salad. I hope the options get better over the next 3 days!
Luckily, or unluckily(time will decide), someone was already at the track at the high school. Since this will be my first time jogging in years, and I am sure my muscle-memory for that activity is no longer in place and I am sure I will look like a fool; I chose to wait. But why do you need a high school track to jog Big Guy? This might be my own mental block, but I feel like my body reacts better with a rubber track under my feet, than with concrete when this much weight is coming down on them repeatedly. It's coming soon, but no will appear video to prove it.
I have lost 7 pounds since my last weigh-in, and am down a total of 70 with about 40 days left. I need to stay focused and make sure that after this "Final Official Weigh-in", I continue with this life-change. My "Finish Strong" is to finish the rest of my life strong. Not just these next 40 days. I have developed good habits. I now think about food in terms of nutrients vs calories. I have increased my activity and become a healthier me. Finish Strong, for life!
I am down in Skamania for a student orientation training that another teacher and I will be leading next year. Not the ideal spring break to be working, but I know it will be fun. Problem is, every meal is buffet. Dinner was lots of pasta dishes and steak dishes. I had two helpings of garden salad. I hope the options get better over the next 3 days!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
I'm Feeling It
Reiterating what I have said in previous posts, I know my body pretty well. I could tell my body hit a wall at the end of last month, and the night before my weigh-in I was talking with a friend on the phone and predicted a 2-3 pound weight-loss for those two weeks. The next day was a 3 pound loss. About a month earlier I was predicting a big number and that weigh-in was an 8 pound loss.
Tomorrow's weigh-in is a turning point for me I think. I am bouncing off the wall that I hit at my last weigh-in. I made some changes to my eating schedule. Most importantly, I am trying to eat more at breakfast & lunch, and then less at dinner. I am also trying to add more steps in my day. You know that little thing that you have heard so many times in your life. Add more steps and you'll be healthier. Well I am finally putting that into action. I am taking 15-20 minutes during my prep period at school to walk around campus, and after school I will either walk around the campus again, or take a walk in my neighborhood when I get home. I am not as consistent as I want to be, but making the conscious effort is helping.
My body is starting to feel more like an athlete again. My life before this weight-loss was a life of used-to-be. I used to be a football player. I used to be able to hike Mt. Si. I used to be able to run a 5k. I used to be able to put on my shoes without grunting. I used to be able to do a lot of things. Those activities are coming back to my life, and life is good!
I am not going to predict another 8 pound loss, but I think a 6-7 pound loss will not be out of the realm of possibilities. I won't be able to blog tomorrow as I will be driving down to Skamania Lodge for a student related training. Not the way I was hoping to spend my Spring Break, but I volunteered for it because this will be good for kids. So look for my post about my latest weigh-in on Monday.
Thanks for your support!
Tomorrow's weigh-in is a turning point for me I think. I am bouncing off the wall that I hit at my last weigh-in. I made some changes to my eating schedule. Most importantly, I am trying to eat more at breakfast & lunch, and then less at dinner. I am also trying to add more steps in my day. You know that little thing that you have heard so many times in your life. Add more steps and you'll be healthier. Well I am finally putting that into action. I am taking 15-20 minutes during my prep period at school to walk around campus, and after school I will either walk around the campus again, or take a walk in my neighborhood when I get home. I am not as consistent as I want to be, but making the conscious effort is helping.
My body is starting to feel more like an athlete again. My life before this weight-loss was a life of used-to-be. I used to be a football player. I used to be able to hike Mt. Si. I used to be able to run a 5k. I used to be able to put on my shoes without grunting. I used to be able to do a lot of things. Those activities are coming back to my life, and life is good!
I am not going to predict another 8 pound loss, but I think a 6-7 pound loss will not be out of the realm of possibilities. I won't be able to blog tomorrow as I will be driving down to Skamania Lodge for a student related training. Not the way I was hoping to spend my Spring Break, but I volunteered for it because this will be good for kids. So look for my post about my latest weigh-in on Monday.
Thanks for your support!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Happy Feet
Once I entered the 7th grade, finding shoes that fit me became difficult. I always had large feet, but that summer they sprouted like weeds on the first sunny day in spring. Back then to hear that someone was wearing a size 13 shoe meant that they were likely in the NBA, and probably six feet, six inches tall. My mom had to trek me from mall to mall in search of a store with size 13 that didn't look like they were made for a geriatric with plantar fasciitis. Nordstrom Rack, or Famous Footwear were our most successful stops.
Over the years, more and more people have feet that are growing into freakish sizes, which I guess makes it less freakish. So more and more stores are carrying bigger shoes, but my feet kept growing and by the time I was a senior in high school, I was a size 15. It got to the point that if we found a store with my size, we bought the shoes before I even laid my eyes on them. I would walk into a store and ask if they had size 15, and the clerk would check the computer. "Yup, one pair of..." And I would cut him off, "I'll take them." There were years that my shoes looked like I had received them free, from the peace corp, after they were thrown from the back of a moving truck in a desolate country.
Then a few years ago I found an new shoe store that opened in Portland, Oregon. They were hoping to set themselves apart by filling a much needed area of the shoe market. They only sell sizes 14 and up. They work with shoe companies to get large sizes in almost every brand and style. They sell casual, athletic, sport, dress, sandal and everything in between. Oddball.com became my favorite website. I read an article about how NBA stars fly into Portland just for the shoe store. One 1st round pick dropped over $100,000 on shoes.
They were trying to attract internet business, so they offered free shipping for their first year. I was like a fat kid in a candy store who just found $50 on the ground. I was buying basketball shoes even though I hadn't played basketball in years. I bought dress shoes even though I never dress up. I bought those cool brown leathery shoes that look like they have straps going at all angles. I bought several different versions of them to be honest. I had liked those shoes for years, but could never get them in my size. Now I have four different pairs, four different brands. Then a few years ago, I bought a limited edition pair of shoes that I haven't even put on yet. They are way too cool for day-to-day wear, so I am saving them for a special occasion. It's been three years, still waiting...maybe my final weigh-in day.
My students noticed my shoe obsession a couple of years ago. "Mr. Adams, do you have a shoe fetish?" "Why?" "I have kept track and you have worn a different pair of shoes for 12 straight school days." I guess my students will pay attention to anything besides math. Even my feet.
I have managed my small addiction and kept myself from buying shoes for the about a year. Until this week. Now that I am lighter, feeling good and ready to ramp up my exercise, I needed some new shoes. I bought a pair of walking shoes. They are Nike, plenty of cushion and breath well. I bought a pair of running shoes. They are Adidas, plenty of cushion, really nice support, and breath very well. Then a pair of trail-runners. They are Puma, and I have never purchased trail-runners before, so I am not sure if they are good. But they look awesome!
Over the years, more and more people have feet that are growing into freakish sizes, which I guess makes it less freakish. So more and more stores are carrying bigger shoes, but my feet kept growing and by the time I was a senior in high school, I was a size 15. It got to the point that if we found a store with my size, we bought the shoes before I even laid my eyes on them. I would walk into a store and ask if they had size 15, and the clerk would check the computer. "Yup, one pair of..." And I would cut him off, "I'll take them." There were years that my shoes looked like I had received them free, from the peace corp, after they were thrown from the back of a moving truck in a desolate country.
Then a few years ago I found an new shoe store that opened in Portland, Oregon. They were hoping to set themselves apart by filling a much needed area of the shoe market. They only sell sizes 14 and up. They work with shoe companies to get large sizes in almost every brand and style. They sell casual, athletic, sport, dress, sandal and everything in between. Oddball.com became my favorite website. I read an article about how NBA stars fly into Portland just for the shoe store. One 1st round pick dropped over $100,000 on shoes.
They were trying to attract internet business, so they offered free shipping for their first year. I was like a fat kid in a candy store who just found $50 on the ground. I was buying basketball shoes even though I hadn't played basketball in years. I bought dress shoes even though I never dress up. I bought those cool brown leathery shoes that look like they have straps going at all angles. I bought several different versions of them to be honest. I had liked those shoes for years, but could never get them in my size. Now I have four different pairs, four different brands. Then a few years ago, I bought a limited edition pair of shoes that I haven't even put on yet. They are way too cool for day-to-day wear, so I am saving them for a special occasion. It's been three years, still waiting...maybe my final weigh-in day.
My students noticed my shoe obsession a couple of years ago. "Mr. Adams, do you have a shoe fetish?" "Why?" "I have kept track and you have worn a different pair of shoes for 12 straight school days." I guess my students will pay attention to anything besides math. Even my feet.
I have managed my small addiction and kept myself from buying shoes for the about a year. Until this week. Now that I am lighter, feeling good and ready to ramp up my exercise, I needed some new shoes. I bought a pair of walking shoes. They are Nike, plenty of cushion and breath well. I bought a pair of running shoes. They are Adidas, plenty of cushion, really nice support, and breath very well. Then a pair of trail-runners. They are Puma, and I have never purchased trail-runners before, so I am not sure if they are good. But they look awesome!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
By The Numbers
I figured I am 4 months into this life-change and I have lost 60+ pounds, I should go see my doctor to make sure I am not doing something wrong, or losing weight at a rate that would be considered unhealthy. I really like my Doc! He is down to earth, he does not try and push the latest meds and he has a positive spin on just about everything.
Last Spring around this time, I was in to see him about some numbness in my hands. I told him, "I think it is because I am sleeping differently and I may have pinched a nerve or something, but I am sure you'll tell me that I am diabetic now fatty!" He chuckled and examined my extremities. He came to the conclusion that I could be right about the sleeping idea because I was not showing any signs of carpal tunnel, and he doubted that I had diabetes. I wanted to make sure, so we agreed to a blood draw.
Turns out, the Doc was right. My glucose may have been on the high side of normal, but it was in the normal range. He did suggest that I think about making some changes because it was on the high side, and my cholesterol was at 234, and 200 is kinda the magic number to stay under. I remember a 2004 blood draw in which my cholesterol was at 170, so this 64 point jump made me worry a bit. I think that minor scare helped encourage me to audition for Biggest Loser, and after missing that cut, to start thinking of other ways to get started on my life-change. Hence you all.
I had sent my blog link to my Doc about a month into this weight-loss, just to see if he thought that first month of 24 pounds was too drastic and he said it sounded like I was doing it the right way, so keep going. On this week's visit, I requested a blood draw to see where my numbers were, and determine if losing the weight also meant improved numbers. The answer seems obvious, but I needed to see it to make sure.
After four months of eating better, exercising a little more and making healthy decisions, my cholesterol is down 75 points to 159, and my glucose has dropped 10 points! Hello to a little more motivation!
Thank you all for being a part of something that is truly saving my life!
Last Spring around this time, I was in to see him about some numbness in my hands. I told him, "I think it is because I am sleeping differently and I may have pinched a nerve or something, but I am sure you'll tell me that I am diabetic now fatty!" He chuckled and examined my extremities. He came to the conclusion that I could be right about the sleeping idea because I was not showing any signs of carpal tunnel, and he doubted that I had diabetes. I wanted to make sure, so we agreed to a blood draw.
Turns out, the Doc was right. My glucose may have been on the high side of normal, but it was in the normal range. He did suggest that I think about making some changes because it was on the high side, and my cholesterol was at 234, and 200 is kinda the magic number to stay under. I remember a 2004 blood draw in which my cholesterol was at 170, so this 64 point jump made me worry a bit. I think that minor scare helped encourage me to audition for Biggest Loser, and after missing that cut, to start thinking of other ways to get started on my life-change. Hence you all.
I had sent my blog link to my Doc about a month into this weight-loss, just to see if he thought that first month of 24 pounds was too drastic and he said it sounded like I was doing it the right way, so keep going. On this week's visit, I requested a blood draw to see where my numbers were, and determine if losing the weight also meant improved numbers. The answer seems obvious, but I needed to see it to make sure.
After four months of eating better, exercising a little more and making healthy decisions, my cholesterol is down 75 points to 159, and my glucose has dropped 10 points! Hello to a little more motivation!
Thank you all for being a part of something that is truly saving my life!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
What We Feel, But Do Not Tell
I started this life-change by sending an open, very honest email to just about everyone whose email address I had in my gmail account. At the time, that level of honesty was only shared with very few family and friends, and even then it was half-truths. I did not fully state the bad shape I was in mentally and physically. I kept that hidden because it was embarrassing and I feared what others would think if they knew the whole story.
In actuality, this started long before that email. This started long before I auditioned for Biggest Loser. This started years ago, and only became public because of other life-changing experiences.
In high school I suffered through a couple of "funks" in which I felt like I did not belong. Not ground breaking news for anyone that has attended high school, but it is not talked about by most people. The idea of feeling like shit for not fitting in, or not belonging was mocked by the "popular" kids. I think I was part of the "popular" kids, but always felt like I was not doing, or saying what was "expected." I felt I did not deserve my friends. I felt like I was not a good person. I did not meet some mythical standard. Fear overwhelmed me. (Special Thanks to Colin Rush. You know why!)
In college, more of the same, but not with the "popular" kids. Because who the hell knows what's popular in college? You find people that have the same interests and values and form some unbreakable bonds. I still had my "funks" where I felt like if I said the wrong things, or behaved the wrong way, I would be cast aside. Although these "funks" were fewer and further between, they were still present. After college, I moved back to the Seattle area, I suffered more and more from the feeling that I was not meeting standard.
"Funk, bad stretch, rough time, moody." I hid behind these phrases for years. They did not do it justice. I was not doing myself justice. I was suffering from depression. I felt it, but did not talk about it. I knew it, but I didn't know it. I am not trying to write in hyperbole. It is hard to express how low I had sunk.
In the summer of 2006, I had a stretch in which I did not get off my couch for 13 days. I didn't have the energy. In order to be social, I would need to put on the "Ryan Show." I would need to turn myself on, and behave like the Ryan people wanted, or how I perceived they wanted. No one knew, because I would show up and be the person they had known for years. It was exhausting. I would come home and collapse. I decided that staying home was easier. I convinced myself that people didn't really want to see me anyway. Why would they? I was not living up to standard.
In those 13 days, I sunk to my lowest. I believed that no one really wanted to see me, know me, or be around me. If they said, or did anything to the contrary, it was because they felt pity for me. I had a plan to end the "Show" and to allow everyone off the hook for having to deal with me. I would tell my family I was going to Oregon for the week. I would tell my friends that I was going on a family trip. That way no one would come look for me. I had enough pain killers and muscle relaxers from my last lumbar injury to kill a horse. I would just take a bath, and take the pills with a bottle of vodka. I would not be saying goodbye to a cruel world. I would be saying to goodbye to the false reality I had built around myself.
I stood in my bathroom, pills on the counter. I did not intend to look, but I caught myself in the eyes in the mirror. I saw the fear behind them. I started to cry. I called two people. I could not form words. Only tears. They did not know what to do. They just told me they loved me. I believed them. Not because of pity. I believed the words. I believed the feeling. Thank you.
I have been in counseling off and on for nine years. Who wants to admit that? Most of us need it, but we do not say it. If you hear one of your friends say they are in a funk, having a bad stretch, been moody lately, or going through rough times, please talk to them more. Call them, stop by, take them to lunch. Be their phone call when they can't form words.
In actuality, this started long before that email. This started long before I auditioned for Biggest Loser. This started years ago, and only became public because of other life-changing experiences.
In high school I suffered through a couple of "funks" in which I felt like I did not belong. Not ground breaking news for anyone that has attended high school, but it is not talked about by most people. The idea of feeling like shit for not fitting in, or not belonging was mocked by the "popular" kids. I think I was part of the "popular" kids, but always felt like I was not doing, or saying what was "expected." I felt I did not deserve my friends. I felt like I was not a good person. I did not meet some mythical standard. Fear overwhelmed me. (Special Thanks to Colin Rush. You know why!)
In college, more of the same, but not with the "popular" kids. Because who the hell knows what's popular in college? You find people that have the same interests and values and form some unbreakable bonds. I still had my "funks" where I felt like if I said the wrong things, or behaved the wrong way, I would be cast aside. Although these "funks" were fewer and further between, they were still present. After college, I moved back to the Seattle area, I suffered more and more from the feeling that I was not meeting standard.
"Funk, bad stretch, rough time, moody." I hid behind these phrases for years. They did not do it justice. I was not doing myself justice. I was suffering from depression. I felt it, but did not talk about it. I knew it, but I didn't know it. I am not trying to write in hyperbole. It is hard to express how low I had sunk.
In the summer of 2006, I had a stretch in which I did not get off my couch for 13 days. I didn't have the energy. In order to be social, I would need to put on the "Ryan Show." I would need to turn myself on, and behave like the Ryan people wanted, or how I perceived they wanted. No one knew, because I would show up and be the person they had known for years. It was exhausting. I would come home and collapse. I decided that staying home was easier. I convinced myself that people didn't really want to see me anyway. Why would they? I was not living up to standard.
In those 13 days, I sunk to my lowest. I believed that no one really wanted to see me, know me, or be around me. If they said, or did anything to the contrary, it was because they felt pity for me. I had a plan to end the "Show" and to allow everyone off the hook for having to deal with me. I would tell my family I was going to Oregon for the week. I would tell my friends that I was going on a family trip. That way no one would come look for me. I had enough pain killers and muscle relaxers from my last lumbar injury to kill a horse. I would just take a bath, and take the pills with a bottle of vodka. I would not be saying goodbye to a cruel world. I would be saying to goodbye to the false reality I had built around myself.
I stood in my bathroom, pills on the counter. I did not intend to look, but I caught myself in the eyes in the mirror. I saw the fear behind them. I started to cry. I called two people. I could not form words. Only tears. They did not know what to do. They just told me they loved me. I believed them. Not because of pity. I believed the words. I believed the feeling. Thank you.
I have been in counseling off and on for nine years. Who wants to admit that? Most of us need it, but we do not say it. If you hear one of your friends say they are in a funk, having a bad stretch, been moody lately, or going through rough times, please talk to them more. Call them, stop by, take them to lunch. Be their phone call when they can't form words.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Free Advice Part2
A few weeks ago I asked people to send me their weight-loss ideas and plans that have worked for them. I heard from quite a few people, and I wanted to thank them for contributing to my knowledge on the subject of weight-loss. The theme that resonated with everyone: This is not easy, but if you stick with the plan, it works.
Weight-loss plans, or Programs that have worked for people:
-Weight Watchers
-Eat This Not That
-Body For Life
-Juice Cleanse, or Juice Boosters (From the Documentary: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead)
-hCG Hormone (This seems scary to me, but several people told me about it.)
-Biggest Loser (Work office competition)
Like I said in my previous post. It's not easy. It's hard. Find what works for you and stick to it!
My plan has hit a plateau. I feel like I need a shock to my system to get things rolling again. Ideas for me?
As always, I thank you all for being my supporters and motivational sparks!
Weight-loss plans, or Programs that have worked for people:
-Weight Watchers
-Eat This Not That
-Body For Life
-Juice Cleanse, or Juice Boosters (From the Documentary: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead)
-hCG Hormone (This seems scary to me, but several people told me about it.)
-Biggest Loser (Work office competition)
Like I said in my previous post. It's not easy. It's hard. Find what works for you and stick to it!
My plan has hit a plateau. I feel like I need a shock to my system to get things rolling again. Ideas for me?
As always, I thank you all for being my supporters and motivational sparks!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Free Advice For A Fee
"You know the secret to life? I do! And I 'll tell you all about it, in my book which you can buy for $19.95."
That's what I think of when I hear about most weight-loss food plans, exercise plans, pills or the like.
"It's so easy that you can do it in only minutes a day!" You know what? It's not easy!
"All you need to do is buy my program..." Oh, is that all? It's a wonder we have an obesity problem if that's all you have to do!
"For as little as 27 cents a day, you to can have a body like..." For as little as free, you can shut up!
I apologize for my bitter tone, but deception should not be part of any weight-loss plan. Don't deceive yourself, and don't let others deceive you. There are many ways to lose weight, and you need to find one that works for you and STICK TO IT! That's the secret. Stick to it! No money required.
When I reached a 50 pound weight-loss, I received texts, emails and FB posts talking about the determination, the fortitude, and as one person put it, the stubbornness that it took to lose 50 pounds. All of these ideas circle around, stick to it!
I gathered a large group to hold me accountable. I read a book, Eat to Live. I joined myfitnesspal.com. I was given the P90 DVDs. I read forwarded websites from friends. Yeah, I spent some money, and yeah I have stumbled in my plan. But I have stuck with it!
There you go. Mystery solved. Pick something that will work for you for the long-haul and stick to it!
______________________________________________________
On a side note. I know that most of my readers have already agreed to sponsor my weight-loss, and it's shaping up to be a bigger donation that you would normally consider(And I thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart), but I wanted to share the fundraising page of my friend Gary. He is on our Relay planning committee, and he works at Leota JH. His life has been greatly impacted by cancer, and he has a hard time asking for donations. Obviously, I don't... :) Read his page, and if you feel like you can, or know someone that can donate to his efforts, pass it along. Thanks!
That's what I think of when I hear about most weight-loss food plans, exercise plans, pills or the like.
"It's so easy that you can do it in only minutes a day!" You know what? It's not easy!
"All you need to do is buy my program..." Oh, is that all? It's a wonder we have an obesity problem if that's all you have to do!
"For as little as 27 cents a day, you to can have a body like..." For as little as free, you can shut up!
I apologize for my bitter tone, but deception should not be part of any weight-loss plan. Don't deceive yourself, and don't let others deceive you. There are many ways to lose weight, and you need to find one that works for you and STICK TO IT! That's the secret. Stick to it! No money required.
When I reached a 50 pound weight-loss, I received texts, emails and FB posts talking about the determination, the fortitude, and as one person put it, the stubbornness that it took to lose 50 pounds. All of these ideas circle around, stick to it!
I gathered a large group to hold me accountable. I read a book, Eat to Live. I joined myfitnesspal.com. I was given the P90 DVDs. I read forwarded websites from friends. Yeah, I spent some money, and yeah I have stumbled in my plan. But I have stuck with it!
There you go. Mystery solved. Pick something that will work for you for the long-haul and stick to it!
______________________________________________________
On a side note. I know that most of my readers have already agreed to sponsor my weight-loss, and it's shaping up to be a bigger donation that you would normally consider(And I thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart), but I wanted to share the fundraising page of my friend Gary. He is on our Relay planning committee, and he works at Leota JH. His life has been greatly impacted by cancer, and he has a hard time asking for donations. Obviously, I don't... :) Read his page, and if you feel like you can, or know someone that can donate to his efforts, pass it along. Thanks!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Special Occasions and Special Pains
Irish Heritage is something that a lot of people try to claim. Especially on St. Patrick's Day. Any excuse to go out, get drunk and act inappropriately. I have been that guy. What I am talking about? "...have been that guy." It's not past tense, I am that guy! Not this year though. Alcohol has too many calories to consume in such mass quantities. I am Irish though and if you need proof, checkout the picture below. My family all look like little Leprechauns and I look like a giant Leprechaun.
What I did celebrate on Saturday night was my Mom's birthday! We had her 20th Annual 41st Birthday Celebration at Jak's Grill in Laurelhurst. Mom loves steak and baked potato, and you can't find a better deal on such a great steak than Jak's (IMO). Chris, Kaelyn, Mom and I had a great time. Happy Birthday Mom!
Now, since I have started my life change, I have not had very much red meat. I had one bun-free burger in Vegas, a couple of soft tacos at a friends house, roast beef with the VanGerpens and maybe one other time in that last two and a half months. Logic would tell me to take it easy at my favorite steak joint, but food is one area that logic has never been my primary guiding factor. I ordered the Jak's Filet Mignon. It varies in size, but is usually around 20oz. They raise their beef locally, use all natural feed and it is dry-aged for 28 days. I don't want this to turn into a commercial, but I want to make clear the overwhelming forces that were upon me.
The steak was luscious, profoundly beefy and tender. I was in heaven as I devoured the entire steak. I may have even closed my eyes and moaned a few times. Don't Judge Me!! It was fantastic. A few hours later was not fantastic. My intestines were not used to that much beef bulldozing its way through, and the cramps were more than noticeable. And I won't go into too much detail, but if my dog Boston were still alive, he would not have slept in the bedroom that night. Even the dog would have had trouble breathing.
Lesson learned; no more 20oz steaks!
What I did celebrate on Saturday night was my Mom's birthday! We had her 20th Annual 41st Birthday Celebration at Jak's Grill in Laurelhurst. Mom loves steak and baked potato, and you can't find a better deal on such a great steak than Jak's (IMO). Chris, Kaelyn, Mom and I had a great time. Happy Birthday Mom!
Now, since I have started my life change, I have not had very much red meat. I had one bun-free burger in Vegas, a couple of soft tacos at a friends house, roast beef with the VanGerpens and maybe one other time in that last two and a half months. Logic would tell me to take it easy at my favorite steak joint, but food is one area that logic has never been my primary guiding factor. I ordered the Jak's Filet Mignon. It varies in size, but is usually around 20oz. They raise their beef locally, use all natural feed and it is dry-aged for 28 days. I don't want this to turn into a commercial, but I want to make clear the overwhelming forces that were upon me.
The steak was luscious, profoundly beefy and tender. I was in heaven as I devoured the entire steak. I may have even closed my eyes and moaned a few times. Don't Judge Me!! It was fantastic. A few hours later was not fantastic. My intestines were not used to that much beef bulldozing its way through, and the cramps were more than noticeable. And I won't go into too much detail, but if my dog Boston were still alive, he would not have slept in the bedroom that night. Even the dog would have had trouble breathing.
Lesson learned; no more 20oz steaks!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Linfield College
The Nursing Home in which my mom worked as a nurse was my first place to volunteer my time to others. Countless hours spent with the residents playing bingo, helping them use a kids bowling set from their wheelchairs and feeding them their food. In junior high I started volunteering at the Boys and Girls Club. I helped start a teen program called Prime Time, to give teens a place to go on weekend nights instead of walking the streets. At Linfield College, I had plenty of options to volunteer.
Right now, I spend hundreds, if not thousands of hours volunteering for Relay For Life.
I wonder what the future holds...
Right now, I spend hundreds, if not thousands of hours volunteering for Relay For Life.
I wonder what the future holds...
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Finding Myself
Time, patience and determination. How many times have you heard those words when talking about making a change, learning something new, raising a child, finding a job or improving the quality of your life? For me, countless. Educators will agree that these three words play a significant role in helping our students overcome obstacles and achieve to their best abilities. And because I am an educator, I thought I had patience and determination coming out of me like Rush Limbaugh has asinine comments coming out of him.
I was wrong. I did not fully appreciate the full complexity of truly being patient. Nor did I grasp the spirit of determination. I still don't think I do, but I have a better idea. I am learning and finding what I can do. Please read the latest blog post from a friend of mine. She is why Relay For Life is important, and why this journey is worth the time, patience and determination.
8 pounds down the last two weeks. Total of 60 pounds.
I was wrong. I did not fully appreciate the full complexity of truly being patient. Nor did I grasp the spirit of determination. I still don't think I do, but I have a better idea. I am learning and finding what I can do. Please read the latest blog post from a friend of mine. She is why Relay For Life is important, and why this journey is worth the time, patience and determination.
8 pounds down the last two weeks. Total of 60 pounds.
Hiding the Hard
Working out is something that I have enjoyed lately. I loved hiking a couple weeks ago. I actually had fun on the Elliptical Trainer. Going for walks definitely consists of less chub-rub. Then why am I having a hard time fitting this into my weekly routines?
I have not been doing the P90 videos. I have not been using the workout room that is 25 feet from my classroom at school. I have not been going for walks right outside my front door. What is my problem?
I could run the gambit of excuses. I am working 12 hour days almost everyday. I am the Event Chair for Relay For Life. I am still trying to be a good friend and family member, which means spending time. But these are just excuses.
I have lied to some of you when you have asked me about workouts. "Oh they are going great." "Yeah, I did the P90 twice this weekend." "The workout room at school is so close, how could I not use it?!" Great question.
I am sorry for my fibs(I say to you while hiding behind a blog post). I have two months and eleven days until my final weigh-in. I need to stop hiding my struggles, stop making excuses, and start making exercise a priority and a habit.
Bring on the sweat!
I have not been doing the P90 videos. I have not been using the workout room that is 25 feet from my classroom at school. I have not been going for walks right outside my front door. What is my problem?
I could run the gambit of excuses. I am working 12 hour days almost everyday. I am the Event Chair for Relay For Life. I am still trying to be a good friend and family member, which means spending time. But these are just excuses.
I have lied to some of you when you have asked me about workouts. "Oh they are going great." "Yeah, I did the P90 twice this weekend." "The workout room at school is so close, how could I not use it?!" Great question.
I am sorry for my fibs(I say to you while hiding behind a blog post). I have two months and eleven days until my final weigh-in. I need to stop hiding my struggles, stop making excuses, and start making exercise a priority and a habit.
Bring on the sweat!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
FAT 2012
My body has been at war since early childhood. Rebel forces, FAT, has been advancing for years. At times FAT has been quite stealthy under the guise of loose clothing and fat hiding posture. Through the years, my will has tried to fight back the FAT, but to no avail. The FAT beat down my will and found me eating burgers and pizza while the FAT furiously invaded all parts of my body. The FAT was visible, not invisible. These crimes against health will NOT stand!
This is the year that FAT will be held accountable for its horrendous actions. This is the year that the Radams Army of FAT Fighters brings down, once and for all, the FAT. It will take awareness. Thankfully my original email went completely viral, reaching at least 140 people. It will also take funding. Thanks to you, we have money pouring in as if cars ran on FAT, and I was Exxon. Lastly, it will take persistent badgering of the people that make the decisions regarding my FAT.
Here is what you need to do: Write letters to your local Ryan. Tell him that you will not stand by while FAT is still free in him. Call your Radams and tell him that FAT's time has come to end, and you support military action if needed. Email your fellow FAT victims and encourage them to join you in the war on FAT. This is our motto: FAT 2012: Stop at No Fast Food
Together, we will make the world FAT Free!
(This, in no way, is meant to make light of the atrocities of Joseph Kony. It was meant to make light of my FAT. {Pun intended.})
Is Subway considered fast food? Well, with exception to Subway and one trip to Taco Time, I have not been eaten fast food in over 3 months. When I saw this commercial, I had to laugh.
Thanks
This is the year that FAT will be held accountable for its horrendous actions. This is the year that the Radams Army of FAT Fighters brings down, once and for all, the FAT. It will take awareness. Thankfully my original email went completely viral, reaching at least 140 people. It will also take funding. Thanks to you, we have money pouring in as if cars ran on FAT, and I was Exxon. Lastly, it will take persistent badgering of the people that make the decisions regarding my FAT.
Here is what you need to do: Write letters to your local Ryan. Tell him that you will not stand by while FAT is still free in him. Call your Radams and tell him that FAT's time has come to end, and you support military action if needed. Email your fellow FAT victims and encourage them to join you in the war on FAT. This is our motto: FAT 2012: Stop at No Fast Food
Together, we will make the world FAT Free!
(This, in no way, is meant to make light of the atrocities of Joseph Kony. It was meant to make light of my FAT. {Pun intended.})
Is Subway considered fast food? Well, with exception to Subway and one trip to Taco Time, I have not been eaten fast food in over 3 months. When I saw this commercial, I had to laugh.
Thanks
Monday, March 5, 2012
50 Pound Pressure
Reader Request: Can you write a post about what it is like to be 50 pounds lighter?
Yes I can, but the problem is, I will never be able to put into words exactly what it is like for me. I won't be able to explain the intricate differences between me before the weight loss and now. The big differences will be obvious, but there are smaller ones that I have not even discovered yet. So by request, I will do my best to shed some insight on being 50 pounds lighter.
If you read the post, Shopping in the Mall of Despair, you know that I have started wearing clothes that have been too small for quite sometime. Six weeks into the weight loss, I was wearing jeans that I had not been able to wear for about three years. Those fit me for about a month, and are now too big. As one friend told me, "You look ridiculous in those jeans!" Thank you for your honesty. I can't go out and buy a whole new wardrobe yet because I am still planning on losing another hundred pounds, so I made a trip to Value Village. I purchased two pairs of pants that fit now, and two pairs that I hope to soon be wearing. Too baggy has never been a problem until now. It's a good feeling...
If you have not seen my car, good for you! It's an eye-sore, but it gets great gas mileage and it has nothing but space on the inside, so I fit in it extremely well. Now, I fit even better. I now notice a lot more space between me and the wheel. This space was not an issue before, but the difference is noticeable. The seat belt is not as uncomfortable as it used to be, and I can check my blind spots easier. For those of you that don't have weight problems, sometimes whipping your head around to check your blind spot can be tough for the large-necked person. The world is safer now that I weigh less. Another car difference, I "dance" while driving more now than I did before. I don't know if that is because of the weight loss, or that I was recently hooked on Macklemore, but it makes driving more fun!
Make a fist. Right now, make a fist. Squeeze tight. Was that difficult? What I did not realize before the weight loss was that making a fist was hard for me. I just thought that's what it feels like to make a fist, but now I can feel a big difference in making a fist. I did not realize that the fat in my hand made it difficult to squeeze, or grip tools. My yard work is easier because my hands fit around the tools better. A simple thing that makes my progress more motivating, a fist.
I have had questions about my back pain, and knee pain. My back has been feeling OK for a couple years, which one of the reasons I wanted to start my life-change. I did not have that pain holding me back, and I really had no excuse to not get started(I like the double-negative). I never had knee pain, but I have noticed that my feet feel better at the end of the day. My feet never hurt the way my back did so I guess I never gave it much thought, but with less weight pounding on them each day, I have noticed a reduction in pain. Take care of your feet, you'll need them for awhile!
I am sure I could go on, but let's save that for a future post. For now, thank you for being the people that changed my life. Value Village, my car, the people that watch me "dance" in car, my fist and my feet also say thank you!
Yes I can, but the problem is, I will never be able to put into words exactly what it is like for me. I won't be able to explain the intricate differences between me before the weight loss and now. The big differences will be obvious, but there are smaller ones that I have not even discovered yet. So by request, I will do my best to shed some insight on being 50 pounds lighter.
If you read the post, Shopping in the Mall of Despair, you know that I have started wearing clothes that have been too small for quite sometime. Six weeks into the weight loss, I was wearing jeans that I had not been able to wear for about three years. Those fit me for about a month, and are now too big. As one friend told me, "You look ridiculous in those jeans!" Thank you for your honesty. I can't go out and buy a whole new wardrobe yet because I am still planning on losing another hundred pounds, so I made a trip to Value Village. I purchased two pairs of pants that fit now, and two pairs that I hope to soon be wearing. Too baggy has never been a problem until now. It's a good feeling...
If you have not seen my car, good for you! It's an eye-sore, but it gets great gas mileage and it has nothing but space on the inside, so I fit in it extremely well. Now, I fit even better. I now notice a lot more space between me and the wheel. This space was not an issue before, but the difference is noticeable. The seat belt is not as uncomfortable as it used to be, and I can check my blind spots easier. For those of you that don't have weight problems, sometimes whipping your head around to check your blind spot can be tough for the large-necked person. The world is safer now that I weigh less. Another car difference, I "dance" while driving more now than I did before. I don't know if that is because of the weight loss, or that I was recently hooked on Macklemore, but it makes driving more fun!
Make a fist. Right now, make a fist. Squeeze tight. Was that difficult? What I did not realize before the weight loss was that making a fist was hard for me. I just thought that's what it feels like to make a fist, but now I can feel a big difference in making a fist. I did not realize that the fat in my hand made it difficult to squeeze, or grip tools. My yard work is easier because my hands fit around the tools better. A simple thing that makes my progress more motivating, a fist.
I have had questions about my back pain, and knee pain. My back has been feeling OK for a couple years, which one of the reasons I wanted to start my life-change. I did not have that pain holding me back, and I really had no excuse to not get started(I like the double-negative). I never had knee pain, but I have noticed that my feet feel better at the end of the day. My feet never hurt the way my back did so I guess I never gave it much thought, but with less weight pounding on them each day, I have noticed a reduction in pain. Take care of your feet, you'll need them for awhile!
I am sure I could go on, but let's save that for a future post. For now, thank you for being the people that changed my life. Value Village, my car, the people that watch me "dance" in car, my fist and my feet also say thank you!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Halfway Weigh
I think we can all admit that 19 pounds in the first two weeks was crazy! My body had a big reaction to an influx of fruits and vegetables, and decrease in burgers, beer and pizza. I do not expect a 2week loss like that ever again.
Most of my 2week weigh-ins have been the 7 pound loss variety. Which is great, fantastic and more than I could have dreamed of losing. There are a couple 2week weigh-ins that standout as below the norm. The weeks following that initial 19 pounds, I lost 5 pounds. These last two weeks, I lost 5 pounds. Losing 5 pounds is great and I do not want to sound like there is something wrong with that weight loss. BUT I am a math guy now, and I look for reasons why outliers are in my data.
The 2week window after the initial 19 pounds, was during the Holidays (a known weight gain time), but it was a break from teaching. Two weeks in which my schedule was different and my habits were not so habit-tee. Then over these last two weeks, 10 of those days were Mid-Winter Break and I was not teaching. (Insert lazy, greedy teacher joke here.) Again my schedule was thrown off and my habits were less than habitatious.
This makes me start to consider what could happen over the summer. Will I derail? Will pizza, beer and burgers find their way back into my tum-tum? How can I combat this? What plan can I make? I will need help. I will need accountability. I will need you. Yeah, I am talking about you. Not some other Blog reader,...YOU!
Be ready my Adams Army of Healthy Habiteers! I will be calling on you before too long...
So yeah, 5 more pounds. For a total of 52 pounds! All those people that gave themselves a Max of 50, time to pay up :) Use the link below.
Donate to Ryan.
Most of my 2week weigh-ins have been the 7 pound loss variety. Which is great, fantastic and more than I could have dreamed of losing. There are a couple 2week weigh-ins that standout as below the norm. The weeks following that initial 19 pounds, I lost 5 pounds. These last two weeks, I lost 5 pounds. Losing 5 pounds is great and I do not want to sound like there is something wrong with that weight loss. BUT I am a math guy now, and I look for reasons why outliers are in my data.
The 2week window after the initial 19 pounds, was during the Holidays (a known weight gain time), but it was a break from teaching. Two weeks in which my schedule was different and my habits were not so habit-tee. Then over these last two weeks, 10 of those days were Mid-Winter Break and I was not teaching. (Insert lazy, greedy teacher joke here.) Again my schedule was thrown off and my habits were less than habitatious.
This makes me start to consider what could happen over the summer. Will I derail? Will pizza, beer and burgers find their way back into my tum-tum? How can I combat this? What plan can I make? I will need help. I will need accountability. I will need you. Yeah, I am talking about you. Not some other Blog reader,...YOU!
Be ready my Adams Army of Healthy Habiteers! I will be calling on you before too long...
So yeah, 5 more pounds. For a total of 52 pounds! All those people that gave themselves a Max of 50, time to pay up :) Use the link below.
Donate to Ryan.
| danke, gracias, merci, much obliged |
Sunday, February 26, 2012
How many?
This week I spoke with 6-7 people that are trying to live healthier, lose weight, get in shape, or make better choices. The phrasing doesn't matter. Some are trying to eat better. Some exercising more regularly. Others are trying both. Myfitnesspal was heard from 3-4 people. "Eat This, Not That" was mentioned a couple of times. I mentioned, "Eat to Live."
I wonder how many readers are making these positive changes? Email me your strategy and I will share what others are using to see what resonates with the most people.
This week I hiked Wallace Falls, spent an hour at the "gym," hiked Twin Falls and walked 5 miles on the Burke Gillman Trail. Fitness week, I felt great the entire time!
I wonder how many readers are making these positive changes? Email me your strategy and I will share what others are using to see what resonates with the most people.
This week I hiked Wallace Falls, spent an hour at the "gym," hiked Twin Falls and walked 5 miles on the Burke Gillman Trail. Fitness week, I felt great the entire time!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Me, Math Teacher? Final Installment
I did not consider myself a "math guy." That all changed when I was working at Skyview Jr High. My Department Head there was Chris Harrison, perhaps the best math teacher to walk the planet, and he is a hands-on teacher/leader. My first year there, he observed my class, engaged me in conversations about math and teaching, and without me realizing it, taught me to refine my craft as a math teacher. I can attribute a great deal of my students' success to my conversations with Chris.
Also while working at Skyview, I met Bobby. To put it mildly, Bobby is a Baseball Nutt! Bobby loves to watch, attend, discuss and live baseball. For a few years prior to my arrival at Skyview, Bobby had run a Fantasy Baseball League named after his favorite player, Roberto Clemente. The league owners consisted of other baseball nutts, math teachers and stat-heads. Although this league never competed for money, the owners in this league took it very seriously, and spent hours compiling and analyzing stats. I was invited to take over a team and did not realize right away what it takes to be successful in this league.
During the draft, which takes a month to complete at one round per day over email, owners maintain several spreadsheets of data to analyze where their players and available players are strong, or weak. My first year, I kept one spreadsheet for my team. In subsequent years, I maintained up to 15 spreadsheets. One for each team in the league (10), one for available infielders, one for outfielders, one for DH, one for pitchers and one for relievers. Our league used non-standard stats that took a little more effort to track. OBP instead of BA. K/BB ratio instead of K's. This added to the analytical nature of the league. Bobby would send us articles on certain players and how these stats were better predictors to a players true abilities. If you have seen, or read "Money Ball" you know what I am talking about.
Chris and Bobby became the owners that I discussed and debated players with during my time in the league. They were always one step ahead of me in thinking about the numbers instead of the players, or teams for which they played. After my second year in the league, I had a break-through, mathematically speaking. Instead of a guy who was good at math, and a good math teacher, I became a "math guy." I could look at a situation and immediately see the rate, probability, or function. Because of the Roberto Clemente League, and my conversations with Bobby and Chris, I now saw the world differently. I now figure out the exact minute I would cross the bridge into Oregon based on the various speed limits along the way when leaving my house in Woodinville. I now base all of my decisions while playing board games on the probabilities, which some friends say, "Takes all of the fun out of playing." But that is fun to me now.
"Ok, Ryan. Let's wrap this up and bring it back to your weight loss."
My original weight was _ _ 4. With that last number being a 4, my mind plays with that, and creates math problems for me to complete in order to get to the next 10. Here is what I mean: Starting with that number which ends with a 4, if I lose 5 pounds, I am into the next set of 10 pounds. If the number were 134 and lost 5, it would be 129, and I would think, "Yeah! I am in the 20's!" It gives me a little goal to work towards. But then, if I lose 5 more, I have lost 10 pounds, which gets me to another 10-type number. So every 5 pounds, I break another 10. Either the next "decade," 30's, 20's, etc, or I lost 10, 20, or 30 pounds. Goals galore!
It does not end there. I have learned that 700 is a key number as well. Everyone's body has a set amount of calories they could eat each day to maintain their weight. One of my first posts stated that mine was 3900-something...a deficit of 700 calories per day, over the course of a week is one pound lost. A surplus of 700 a day, over the course of a week is a pound gained. I am currently on a planned deficit of 1400 a day. Currently 2180 calories per day. So yes, I track my calories on myfitnesspal, but my mind is playing with these numbers constantly. When I have my next small goal to the next 10, my mind is figuring out how calories deficit is needed. How many calories per day? How many per meal? How many days will it take? How many meals will it take? How many pears would that be? It goes on and on. Sometimes being a "math guy" is draining...but being a math guy has helped me stay focused. Thank you Bobby and Chris!
The 29th will be my next weigh-in. 5 days away, 7000 calorie deficit away, 2 lost pounds away?
Also while working at Skyview, I met Bobby. To put it mildly, Bobby is a Baseball Nutt! Bobby loves to watch, attend, discuss and live baseball. For a few years prior to my arrival at Skyview, Bobby had run a Fantasy Baseball League named after his favorite player, Roberto Clemente. The league owners consisted of other baseball nutts, math teachers and stat-heads. Although this league never competed for money, the owners in this league took it very seriously, and spent hours compiling and analyzing stats. I was invited to take over a team and did not realize right away what it takes to be successful in this league.
During the draft, which takes a month to complete at one round per day over email, owners maintain several spreadsheets of data to analyze where their players and available players are strong, or weak. My first year, I kept one spreadsheet for my team. In subsequent years, I maintained up to 15 spreadsheets. One for each team in the league (10), one for available infielders, one for outfielders, one for DH, one for pitchers and one for relievers. Our league used non-standard stats that took a little more effort to track. OBP instead of BA. K/BB ratio instead of K's. This added to the analytical nature of the league. Bobby would send us articles on certain players and how these stats were better predictors to a players true abilities. If you have seen, or read "Money Ball" you know what I am talking about.
Chris and Bobby became the owners that I discussed and debated players with during my time in the league. They were always one step ahead of me in thinking about the numbers instead of the players, or teams for which they played. After my second year in the league, I had a break-through, mathematically speaking. Instead of a guy who was good at math, and a good math teacher, I became a "math guy." I could look at a situation and immediately see the rate, probability, or function. Because of the Roberto Clemente League, and my conversations with Bobby and Chris, I now saw the world differently. I now figure out the exact minute I would cross the bridge into Oregon based on the various speed limits along the way when leaving my house in Woodinville. I now base all of my decisions while playing board games on the probabilities, which some friends say, "Takes all of the fun out of playing." But that is fun to me now.
"Ok, Ryan. Let's wrap this up and bring it back to your weight loss."
My original weight was _ _ 4. With that last number being a 4, my mind plays with that, and creates math problems for me to complete in order to get to the next 10. Here is what I mean: Starting with that number which ends with a 4, if I lose 5 pounds, I am into the next set of 10 pounds. If the number were 134 and lost 5, it would be 129, and I would think, "Yeah! I am in the 20's!" It gives me a little goal to work towards. But then, if I lose 5 more, I have lost 10 pounds, which gets me to another 10-type number. So every 5 pounds, I break another 10. Either the next "decade," 30's, 20's, etc, or I lost 10, 20, or 30 pounds. Goals galore!
It does not end there. I have learned that 700 is a key number as well. Everyone's body has a set amount of calories they could eat each day to maintain their weight. One of my first posts stated that mine was 3900-something...a deficit of 700 calories per day, over the course of a week is one pound lost. A surplus of 700 a day, over the course of a week is a pound gained. I am currently on a planned deficit of 1400 a day. Currently 2180 calories per day. So yes, I track my calories on myfitnesspal, but my mind is playing with these numbers constantly. When I have my next small goal to the next 10, my mind is figuring out how calories deficit is needed. How many calories per day? How many per meal? How many days will it take? How many meals will it take? How many pears would that be? It goes on and on. Sometimes being a "math guy" is draining...but being a math guy has helped me stay focused. Thank you Bobby and Chris!
The 29th will be my next weigh-in. 5 days away, 7000 calorie deficit away, 2 lost pounds away?
Monday, February 20, 2012
Hiking to the Top
The first time I hiked Wallace Falls I was twelve. I invited myself along with the VanGerpen family up the street. I don't remember walking up to be too difficult, but on the way down, Eric and another friend of ours ran down the mountain, and I could not keep up. The weight I was carrying up front made me feel off balance when I tried to run down hill.
Since then Wallace Falls has been a gauge of my physical fitness. In the summers, while training for college football, I would hike Wallace every few weeks to build stamina and leg strength. I have a lot to carry up a mountain. Then in 2004, I worked really hard to be healthy and lose weight in an attempt to catch the eye of my coworker that summer. I lost 50ish pounds and could climb to the upper falls at Wallace in 42 minutes, which is 2.75 miles up a mountain. So pretty good for me.
Last summer a friend, Harrison, and I walked Wallace four times. I improved with each trek, but could only muster 45 minutes to the lower falls, 1.9 miles in. Never made to the upper falls. Monday morning will be my first crack at Wallace since last summer and first since my weight loss started. I am not out to break any records, but it will be a gauge of...absolutely nothing. As long as I feel good during and after, that is good enough for me.
Since then Wallace Falls has been a gauge of my physical fitness. In the summers, while training for college football, I would hike Wallace every few weeks to build stamina and leg strength. I have a lot to carry up a mountain. Then in 2004, I worked really hard to be healthy and lose weight in an attempt to catch the eye of my coworker that summer. I lost 50ish pounds and could climb to the upper falls at Wallace in 42 minutes, which is 2.75 miles up a mountain. So pretty good for me.
Last summer a friend, Harrison, and I walked Wallace four times. I improved with each trek, but could only muster 45 minutes to the lower falls, 1.9 miles in. Never made to the upper falls. Monday morning will be my first crack at Wallace since last summer and first since my weight loss started. I am not out to break any records, but it will be a gauge of...absolutely nothing. As long as I feel good during and after, that is good enough for me.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Me, Math Teacher? Part 3
You may be wondering, "Why is this guy telling us his life's story? I thought this was a weight-loss blog."
Hopefully I can bring it back full-circle for you by the end of these Me, Math Teacher? segments.
That first year, teaching four curriculums, had a big learning curve. I was excited to have a L.A./S.S. block class. Having the same kids for two hours allowed me to create lessons where the kids got to get up out of their seat, act out scenes from books we were reading, recreate events from history, and truly engage in their learning. The math classes are where I felt like my lessons may lack the flair I had grown accustom to using. Much like Madonna's half-time show at the Super Bowl.
I referred back to my files from Linfield College where I had taken Math for Teachers and Math Methodologies, per the graduation requirements for my major. I scoured my papers, books, notes and high-lighted passages to identify the strategies best suited for me and my students. I have always classified myself as what educators call a Constructivist Teacher. I believe in students constructing their knowledge through experiencing, investigating, collaborating and working through concepts. Opposed to me telling, showing, or demonstrating concepts. I found a high-lighted passage in one book that stated this idea clearly. "A high-quality teacher facilitates learning."
Luckily the Northshore School District had a math curriculum that matched this style quite well. Students worked in groups on large, real-life problems, and were asked to discuss the best way to solve the problems. I walked around the room and guided them in the right direction, corrected misconceptions and cleaned up the procedures groups agreed upon. A true facilitator. I learned a lot about how kids think, and when to allow the students to struggle through the work, and when it was time to step in and steer them back on course.
My students found success by constructing their own understanding, instead of me delivering the concepts to them like FedEx. I didn't speak math jargon at them because I was not a "math guy." This allowed for more students to feel like they could access the numbers because they were not being bogged down by vocabulary. Once the students understood the concepts, we would go back and attach the math vocabulary, now that they had the knowledge to attach it to.
Once the Administration finds out that a teacher has a knack for teaching math, that person will be a math teacher, indefinitely. I am in my 9th year of teaching math, and for the first 6 years of teaching math, I did not consider myself a "math guy." That all changed when...
Me, Math Teacher? Part 4 coming soon.
We are almost to the halfway point in this six-month fundraiser, and I could not be happier with the progress. I owe so much to all of you for making feel like I was not doing this on my own. Thank you.
I am down 8 more pounds. For a total of 47 pounds. My original goal of 50 pounds in six months seems a bit like Justin Timberlake saying, "I wish I could date at least one hot girl in my lifetime." I now am like the GPS in your car after you make a wrong turn. "Recalculating" my goal.
Hopefully I can bring it back full-circle for you by the end of these Me, Math Teacher? segments.
That first year, teaching four curriculums, had a big learning curve. I was excited to have a L.A./S.S. block class. Having the same kids for two hours allowed me to create lessons where the kids got to get up out of their seat, act out scenes from books we were reading, recreate events from history, and truly engage in their learning. The math classes are where I felt like my lessons may lack the flair I had grown accustom to using. Much like Madonna's half-time show at the Super Bowl.
I referred back to my files from Linfield College where I had taken Math for Teachers and Math Methodologies, per the graduation requirements for my major. I scoured my papers, books, notes and high-lighted passages to identify the strategies best suited for me and my students. I have always classified myself as what educators call a Constructivist Teacher. I believe in students constructing their knowledge through experiencing, investigating, collaborating and working through concepts. Opposed to me telling, showing, or demonstrating concepts. I found a high-lighted passage in one book that stated this idea clearly. "A high-quality teacher facilitates learning."
Luckily the Northshore School District had a math curriculum that matched this style quite well. Students worked in groups on large, real-life problems, and were asked to discuss the best way to solve the problems. I walked around the room and guided them in the right direction, corrected misconceptions and cleaned up the procedures groups agreed upon. A true facilitator. I learned a lot about how kids think, and when to allow the students to struggle through the work, and when it was time to step in and steer them back on course.
My students found success by constructing their own understanding, instead of me delivering the concepts to them like FedEx. I didn't speak math jargon at them because I was not a "math guy." This allowed for more students to feel like they could access the numbers because they were not being bogged down by vocabulary. Once the students understood the concepts, we would go back and attach the math vocabulary, now that they had the knowledge to attach it to.
Once the Administration finds out that a teacher has a knack for teaching math, that person will be a math teacher, indefinitely. I am in my 9th year of teaching math, and for the first 6 years of teaching math, I did not consider myself a "math guy." That all changed when...
Me, Math Teacher? Part 4 coming soon.
We are almost to the halfway point in this six-month fundraiser, and I could not be happier with the progress. I owe so much to all of you for making feel like I was not doing this on my own. Thank you.
I am down 8 more pounds. For a total of 47 pounds. My original goal of 50 pounds in six months seems a bit like Justin Timberlake saying, "I wish I could date at least one hot girl in my lifetime." I now am like the GPS in your car after you make a wrong turn. "Recalculating" my goal.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Me, Math Teacher? Part 2
Once I realized that I wanted to be a teacher, I started to place myself in positions to learn about teaching. As ASB President I helped start a tutoring program with Carl Sandburg Elementary in which Jr High students would walk the half a block to the elementary school and help teachers in their classroom for the last 30 minutes of the day. Here I began to realize that you need to speak the kid's language. When I described a plateau as a section of land that has high-elevation and low-relief, the kid started to cry because I confused them even more. I then changed my vocabulary for communicating with kids.
In high school I participated in the tutoring program at the local Boys and Girls Club. Here I realized how hard it can be for a kid to get their school work done when their home is an unsafe place, and they don't have anyone to buy them binders, calculators, paper, or even pencils. This reality punched me in the gut, and increased my desire to become a great teacher because these kids deserve to have the best at school, when they have the opposite at home.
Out of high school, I chose Linfield College based on two things. One, their education department is well-known for the high-quality teachers that they produce each year. And second, their football program is unmatched for consistently winning and making their players better people. This was the best decision I could have made for myself. Linfield did make me a better person, and the characteristics that are preached by the coaches are a big reason for my future success as a teacher and charitable volunteer.
Once I finished at Linfield, I wanted to earn my Masters Degree before I began my teaching career, so I enrolled in another very reputable program, UW-Bothell, Masters of Education. My parent's college funds had dried up, so I started working three jobs to pay for my tuition. I was a Maintenance Man at my mom's work. Those that have seen me attempt to use tools know that this was a stretch, but I learned a lot, and walked away with some useful skills. I also was a Recreation Director for the City of Bothell and Issaquah during breaks from school. This allowed me to play games all day with kids, and get paid for it. Thanks Ric and Cathy! And my last job was as a Door Host (bouncer) at a bar in Kirkland. This was the best job training because intoxicated adults act just like Jr High kids.
Language Arts and Social Studies were the focus at Linfield. Literacy was my focus in Grad School. So when my first job was a leave replacement (maternity leave) for a teacher who taught a Language Arts/Social Studies block, I was excited. Then I was told she also taught math and honors math...oh boy. OK, if that is what it takes to get a job, I'll do it! I should also mention that the teacher I was replacing is one of the best teachers to ever walk in a school, and I stole all of her classroom systems the next year. Thanks Anne!
Me, Math Teacher? Part 3 coming soon.
I have been weighing in twice a month, once around the 14th or 15th and once at the end of the month. I am starting to feel it when my weight-loss is going well, or when it slows down. I am learning what my body feels like when I am eating well, and when I have an off day. I had a great week last week, and feel like that the weigh-in in 2 days will be a great one! Check back then and celebrate with me!
Also, a few of you offered to help me learn how to cook some quick and healthy meals. Email me if you have time to meet up in the next couple weeks.
You all are helping to save my life, and countless others! Thank you!
In high school I participated in the tutoring program at the local Boys and Girls Club. Here I realized how hard it can be for a kid to get their school work done when their home is an unsafe place, and they don't have anyone to buy them binders, calculators, paper, or even pencils. This reality punched me in the gut, and increased my desire to become a great teacher because these kids deserve to have the best at school, when they have the opposite at home.
Out of high school, I chose Linfield College based on two things. One, their education department is well-known for the high-quality teachers that they produce each year. And second, their football program is unmatched for consistently winning and making their players better people. This was the best decision I could have made for myself. Linfield did make me a better person, and the characteristics that are preached by the coaches are a big reason for my future success as a teacher and charitable volunteer.
Once I finished at Linfield, I wanted to earn my Masters Degree before I began my teaching career, so I enrolled in another very reputable program, UW-Bothell, Masters of Education. My parent's college funds had dried up, so I started working three jobs to pay for my tuition. I was a Maintenance Man at my mom's work. Those that have seen me attempt to use tools know that this was a stretch, but I learned a lot, and walked away with some useful skills. I also was a Recreation Director for the City of Bothell and Issaquah during breaks from school. This allowed me to play games all day with kids, and get paid for it. Thanks Ric and Cathy! And my last job was as a Door Host (bouncer) at a bar in Kirkland. This was the best job training because intoxicated adults act just like Jr High kids.
Language Arts and Social Studies were the focus at Linfield. Literacy was my focus in Grad School. So when my first job was a leave replacement (maternity leave) for a teacher who taught a Language Arts/Social Studies block, I was excited. Then I was told she also taught math and honors math...oh boy. OK, if that is what it takes to get a job, I'll do it! I should also mention that the teacher I was replacing is one of the best teachers to ever walk in a school, and I stole all of her classroom systems the next year. Thanks Anne!
Me, Math Teacher? Part 3 coming soon.
I have been weighing in twice a month, once around the 14th or 15th and once at the end of the month. I am starting to feel it when my weight-loss is going well, or when it slows down. I am learning what my body feels like when I am eating well, and when I have an off day. I had a great week last week, and feel like that the weigh-in in 2 days will be a great one! Check back then and celebrate with me!
Also, a few of you offered to help me learn how to cook some quick and healthy meals. Email me if you have time to meet up in the next couple weeks.
You all are helping to save my life, and countless others! Thank you!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Chaos, but Good Chaos
Writing my posts have taken a backseat to Chaos. My life has felt a little out of control the past couple weeks, and it is finally starting to settle into a mild bedlam.
After the snow that left me stranded at home for eight days, and four lost days of school, the semester was extended a week for the students in my school. This provided an opportunity for my Alg 1 students to demonstrate improvement on an assessment in which they performed poorly. To aid these students in their attempt to increase their knowledge, and current grade before the end of the semester, I stayed after school to review the material with anyone that wanted assistance for three days a week over two weeks. 17 to 26 students stayed on each of the six days. That was a lot of Algebra conversations for a two week period!
Event Chair for the Northshore Relay For Life is the other hat that caused the topsy-turviness. Yes, that's a term. During these same weeks, I was scheduling, preparing for and attending three meetings per week for my Relay responsibilities. I "trained" our new Sponsorship chair. Trained is in quotes because she already seemed like a pro, and in her first week lined up five companies to sponsor our event at $1000 a piece. Then I met with our new ACS staff person and laid out a plan for recruiting, asking, begging and thanking people and businesses in Bothell and Kenmore to join our Relay in some fashion. Relay meetings take prep, patience and determination, but it is all worth it when new research we funded leads to life saving treatments!
All of this Chaos was good. I mean it. It was good. My students improved their assessment scores by an average of 15%. A nice little boost to end the semester on I'd say. And last night at our Relay Team Rally, we had 10 new teams attend! And 17 overall new teams have signed up this year! I weathered the Chaos Storm and feel good about the results.
I have received a couple emails asking about Super Bowl Sunday and how I managed my food intake. Here is what I did:
-I surrounded myself with healthy-minded friends.
-I relied on their expertise for the main dish, pulled pork tacos, 170 calories for 4 oz of meat.
-I cooked and cut into toothpick bites, Turkey Brats for an appetizer. 150 calories per brat.
-I relied on another friend to bring dip and dip-able items. Always a Super Bowl hit! The dip was made from fat-free sour cream, and a ranch seasoning packet. We dipped cut veggies. Dip was 20 calories per 2 Tbsp and veggies, come on!
-I drank MGD 64. Four of them.
Throw in a couple of other small things and a great football game, and I was only 1 calorie over my goal for the day! Knowing that tastes good.
Me, Math Teacher? Part 2 coming soon...
After the snow that left me stranded at home for eight days, and four lost days of school, the semester was extended a week for the students in my school. This provided an opportunity for my Alg 1 students to demonstrate improvement on an assessment in which they performed poorly. To aid these students in their attempt to increase their knowledge, and current grade before the end of the semester, I stayed after school to review the material with anyone that wanted assistance for three days a week over two weeks. 17 to 26 students stayed on each of the six days. That was a lot of Algebra conversations for a two week period!
Event Chair for the Northshore Relay For Life is the other hat that caused the topsy-turviness. Yes, that's a term. During these same weeks, I was scheduling, preparing for and attending three meetings per week for my Relay responsibilities. I "trained" our new Sponsorship chair. Trained is in quotes because she already seemed like a pro, and in her first week lined up five companies to sponsor our event at $1000 a piece. Then I met with our new ACS staff person and laid out a plan for recruiting, asking, begging and thanking people and businesses in Bothell and Kenmore to join our Relay in some fashion. Relay meetings take prep, patience and determination, but it is all worth it when new research we funded leads to life saving treatments!
All of this Chaos was good. I mean it. It was good. My students improved their assessment scores by an average of 15%. A nice little boost to end the semester on I'd say. And last night at our Relay Team Rally, we had 10 new teams attend! And 17 overall new teams have signed up this year! I weathered the Chaos Storm and feel good about the results.
I have received a couple emails asking about Super Bowl Sunday and how I managed my food intake. Here is what I did:
-I surrounded myself with healthy-minded friends.
-I relied on their expertise for the main dish, pulled pork tacos, 170 calories for 4 oz of meat.
-I cooked and cut into toothpick bites, Turkey Brats for an appetizer. 150 calories per brat.
-I relied on another friend to bring dip and dip-able items. Always a Super Bowl hit! The dip was made from fat-free sour cream, and a ranch seasoning packet. We dipped cut veggies. Dip was 20 calories per 2 Tbsp and veggies, come on!
-I drank MGD 64. Four of them.
Throw in a couple of other small things and a great football game, and I was only 1 calorie over my goal for the day! Knowing that tastes good.
Me, Math Teacher? Part 2 coming soon...
Friday, February 3, 2012
1/3rd Donation?
If anyone can, or wants to make part of their sponsorship donation now, it would really help me motivate our Relay community. We have a Goal of $10,000 raised by Tuesday, and now we are at $5,200. If I can get even a few hundred dollars donated, then I could send out an email to the 300+ people signed up so far urging them to start their early fundraising like me!
If you would like to, or can donate at the 1/3rd mark, please use the link below.
Your amount would be 39 x (per pound amount) = current donation.
Thank you all very much!
Click here to donate.
If you would like to, or can donate at the 1/3rd mark, please use the link below.
Your amount would be 39 x (per pound amount) = current donation.
Thank you all very much!
Click here to donate.
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